❤️
Maybe I do like Julia. I don't know :/. How could you not like her? She has long thick curly (Latina) hair, perfectly shaped almond eyes, and a smile that could light this whole world up but still be bright enough to light anything else that comes along She has this view on the world so different then anyone's I've ever met she solely judges a person by personality (nothing petty like other people)
*Julia the name just has this alternate meaning in my mind, I hear her name and my heart sinks into my stomach and my tongue twists into a knot. When I see her my pupils expand and in that moment I only see her staring back at me oblivious to my feeling and deaf to the sound of my beating heart which practically knocks on the surface of my chest begging Julia to open it's door. I try to stop it from knocking so hard "She can't hear you."
(End)
'That's the most sweetest thing someone has ever said❤️❤️❤️'
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Speech:
"I know deep inside, I am not the child my parents wanted. I can tell by the way they look into my eyes, because theirs glaze over, and by the way they don't take anything I say too seriously. I can tell by the way they ask me about my future, and when I say, "I'm not sure but," they lose interest in knowing. I can tell when they read the newspaper and see all the successful honor students at my school, they sigh, because my name isn't printed in ink on the list. I feel like when I talk, they don't really listen, because if they did, they would read between the lines and realize I wanted to kill myself a hundred times. I feel like when I'm upset I can no longer show emotion, because my mother has called me lazy too many times, and my dad has shook his head once too many. I feel like when I'm sitting on the couch when I get home from school, they are disgusted because I should be "doing something more productive." So I don't even feel like being comfortable in my own home anymore. I feel like I have to hide away in my room, because when I'm around them we don't talk much anyways. I feel like I'm just another tab on their bill, especially when all they talk about is how they're low on money and make it feel like it's my fault. It's just, I think they wanted someone more, someone better. I think they wanted a smart kid, with a great passion for life, who is nothing but happy, busy, talented, outgoing. They wanted someone who would for sure succeed more than they did in life, someone who could assure them assistance in their older years. But they got me, the kid who's shy, the one who gets okay grades, the kid that doesn't have many friends, the kid who's sad most the time, the kid who has secretly attempted suicide. The kid who has scars.The kid who's just another kid, not the kid who's nothing like me. I'm sorry."
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Speech:
Sometimes I think these days are just a dream. That I'll wake up and wake up when I was little just with a nightmare of the future. But sadly that day was real... and it's not just a horrible dream it's reality. It's the day I changed... I changed but not for the better. I changed but, I became isolated, stuck on my little world where there is peace. Where there is that happy girl that one was truly happy, as happy as any little girl can be. I'm all grown up now but look at me now! I'm all horrible. I'm dead but living. I can't feel anything but pain. That's all I've felt all these years. If only they cared can't they see that their little girl changed after the accident and that she isn't who she seems to be but instead is a girl with scars filled with memories, memories that hold pain and sorrow. A girl that's like no other. A girl with depression... A girl who's been living lies. A girl who forgot what happiness is, what love is. A girls who's been trying to kill herself each day, knowing she dies each and everyday without her trying. A girl who hates herself. But that girl is still grateful for those where there. Living life to the fullest, even if she isn't happy. But her happiness comes from helping people, making those happy and live... "I'm just a suicidal girl, telling suicidal kids not to kill themselves".
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Speech:
"Nothing"
I've heard that word one to many times. It has so much meaning and emotions held in that one little word. Yet again it doesn't... Cause it has one emotion and one meaning it holds every times it's sometimes said. That word and emotion is pain. And forever it will be...
