It's a sad case if I where to be honest. Sad case of Pettiness. You look at the world and at life and think everything is okay but you know it's not okay you know that at the end of the day you'll still have those awful thoughts those awful ideas those sad cases. It's a sad case how they still don't talk to us until it's her father dying that they start phoning her like if she was the most prized diamond. Like if she was important and that not just a few weeks ago they didn't laugh at her when her younger brother kicked her out his party because she wasn't worth it. Like if it ain't sad enough that you call her a few days ago for a favor and expect it. Like if it isn't sad leaving your own father out the hospital when his heart is literally on his sleeve so fragile so weak so shown to the world that anyone could easily bump into it and destroy it. It's a sad case I tell you. How sad to see the world go by and yet your still stuck 5 years ago when everything was okay when you didn't live such awful life. When you still had a family. When people didn't pity you and people didn't say "you're such a strong girl" like if it's something so simple. Like a hero that has finally fought the villain. But they don't know that you're your own villain that your mind has more power over your will then your own self. That being alone is now the best thing and you get attached so easily to anything that loves you or even a little because you get so needy to have love to have any touch with love because it's been so long you've been without her. It's a sad case that I have to see my mother stress herself out because her son is so helpless and so broken yet doesn't know that her daughter is fighting her own civil war. That her father might leave so sudden and she won't be able to breathe by then because she knows we all know that her father is the only thing she's got left of a family that's left her besides that she's just as alone as I am... It's a sad case seeing as you thought you've gotten better only to realize you no longer have motivation you no longer want to live you no longer want to breathe you no longer love the things you did that you are no longer happy.
