A Little Patience

6. It's Not Okay

It's been three weeks since Axl had moved to Seattle. Homesickness never wore off. And neither did his urge to consume drugs. Lilly made it a little more bearable though. She always came to Axl's house and cheered him up. 

"I love you, Lilly," Axl said. "I love you too, Axl," Lilly said as she sat on the couch with her head in Axl's lap. Axl gently raked his hand through Lilly's blond hair "Our kids would be beautiful," Lilly said. "Isn't it too early to be thinking about kids?" Axl asked. "Yeah, I guess, but still they'll be beautiful. "They could my eyes and your smile," Lilly said. "Yeah. But they'd have your beautiful face," Axl said. Lilly blushed. She sat up and kissed Axl's lips. "I should go," Lilly said. "Why can't you stay here?" Axl asked. "I promised Kurt I'd watch Frances while he and Courtney went on date night," Lilly said. "Why don't you bring her over?" Axl asked. "Kurt would kill me if he finds out. And Frances always tells Kurt what happened the night. Mostly because Kurt makes her even if the nanny says not to tell. Kurt doesn't want anything to happen to Frances," Lilly said. "He doesn't trust you?" Axl asked. "He does. But Frances had a lot of nannies in her time. So she's used to telling Kurt what happened the night she was babysat. But I'll be back tomorrow morning," Lilly said. She pecked Axl's lips before leaving. 

One thing Axl found unbearable about his relationship with Lilly, was that she couldn't stay for too long. Because she promised Kurt this she promised Kurt that. Axl couldn't be too mad at her though. He'd promised his friends stuff in the past and he knows the guilt of not keeping a promise because you wanna do your own thing. Axl knew the disappointment of friends when they found out he didn't keep his promise. So, of course, he wasn't mad at Lilly. But, he wished they didn't have to be so secretive about their relationship. It would make things a lot better. 

He minus well just sleep. Then the phone rang. He was always happy to hear the phone ringing. It meant one of his friends called to check up on him and make sure he was okay. But the voice through the phone wasn't the calming warm voice of one of Axl's friends but the voice of a doctor. "Mr. Rose. Saul Hudson was found by a manager. He had overdosed in the bathroom," the female doctor said. The voice sounded snotty and high-pitched. "I... I'm in Seattle. B-But I'll give you Izzy's number," Axl said trying to control his voice that was trembling with anger, fear, and sadness. "Will he be alright?" Axl asked after he gave the woman Izzy's number. "He's in stable condition," she said. Then Axl hung up. 

He madly grabbed a glass and threw it at the wall breaking it into a million pieces. Axl wanted to scream and cry but all that came out were soft cries. Filled with anger and sadness. On the middle of the floor in the living room, Axl sobbed himself to sleep. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Axl awoke the next morning hearing a knock on the door. but instead of going to the door he lifted himself off the ground and dialed Izzy's number. 

"Hel-" 
"Izzy, is he alright?" 
"Yeah, he'll be fine. He was not nearly as bad as Steven." 
"What happened to us?"
"I don't know, but it'll be okay."
"I don't think it will be okay. How can things go back to normal now?" 
"They won't go back to normal. They'll be better than normal. I promise."

They said their goodbyes. Both of their hearts ached. Someone knocked again. Axl walked to the door and dried his tears. Lilly was standing there. Her smile soon faded when she saw Axl's tear-stained face. "Axl, what happened?" Lilly asked holding Axl's face in her hands. "Slash OD'd. He'll be okay. But we were supposed to quit," Axl said starting to cry. "Oh, Axl, it'll be alright," Lilly said. She gave Axl a reassuring kiss. "It won't be alright. Things haven't been alright," Axl said crying. 

Despite Lilly and Izzy telling Axl everything would be okay. He didn't believe it. How could he? If things had gone to hell so fast. There was no escaping now. Steven and Slash had chosen to abuse the drugs and nearly end their lives. Everything would be alright if Slash hadn't done it. Steven was getting better. They joked around with each other and then the news struck Axl like lightning. Nothing is normal anymore. 

"There's a lot of good rehabs around here and in L.A," Lilly said as she and Axl laid in Axl's bed. Lilly gently stroked Axl's red hair and he held onto her. He wasn't crying anymore. He was just laying there listening to the soothing sounds of Lilly's voice. "I'll ask the guys. But I think we'll all go," Axl said. "You?" Lilly asked. "Without you, I'd be hooked again. And I'm afraid of what will happen if one day you're not around and I get hooked," Axl said. Lilly nodded. "I understand," she said. "I'll visit. Every single day." Axl smiled.