Sun Queen

♛ Fifty-One ♛

I ride for three days without stopping. It rains the entire time, water slapping across my face relentlessly. I don't even care. I spend the entire torturing myself imagining his face. Was he stabbed? Hit over the head? Poisoned? The Darkling hadn't been specific and I didn't bother to ask.

I was relieved that not once did the Darkling come after me. I haven't seen him since the inn. And trust me, I've been thinking about that every second of the ride too. Once I even said the words out loud, quietly to myself.

"I love the Darkling." I whispered. But it didn't sound right.

"I love Aleksander." And that's when my heart clicked together. Yet every nerve in me said no, protested. After everything he had done, I had no right to feel like this. Zoya was going to kill when she finds out.

If she finds out, I correct. I may be in love with Aleksander, but I wasn't going to do anything about it. All I'm going to do is avoid him for eternity and hopefully my feelings will go away eventually. There's no way in hell I would ever consider being with him.

I feel silly thinking about this while Nikolai was dead. Perspective Alina, perspective.

The camp wouldn't be much farther away now, I take a short cut to the Second Army camp instead. I don't know where Nikolai would be, but I know I need to see Zoya and the others first.

When the horse breaks through the damp, rain soaked forest, I feel myself pause upon seeing the camp. It is unchanged, nothing seems out of the ordinary. Which is strange. Still, I persisted, continuing to ride until I reach the entrance of the camp.

The guards posted there looked up and saw my face, their mouths hanging open. Shouts filled the camp, starting at the entrance and swiftly ringing out through the camp. Some called for 'Sankta Alina' other just said 'Alina.' I don't know one I preferred.

One of the guards, a woman too kind looking to being wearing a Heartrender kefta rode up to my side on her own horse.

"Alina Starkov, may I escort you to the general?"

I'm not surprised she knows I want to see Zoya. It doesn't take genius to put two and two together. The woman leads me through the camp, cheers and crowds following us. Hands swarm to my legs, touching and reaching and grasping. I'd forgotten the strange, dizzy feeling that crowds like this gave me. But every happy shout has to end and every follower has to break off.

Aleksander was right. Zoya did take over his tent. His black sheets were replaced with flat white ones though, all the furniture had been moved out and only some bare wood tables and chairs had been brought in. The whole tent had been completely stripped of its wealth and design. Zoya was waiting for me in the middle of the room, her arms folded over her waist, looking very expectant.

She nods to the guard by my side and the woman leaves, allowing silence to stretch between Zoya and I.

"The tent looks nice." I offer feebly.

"Don't lie." Zoya sounds exhausted and bored, but I can feel the slight heat of sarcasm.

"So, Nikolai." I have to take a pause to swallow the rising lump in my throat.

Zoya bends her head down and points her arm to a chair. "Please, sit for this."

I'm holding my breath to keep my legs from wobbling as I sit down. Zoya stays standing in front of me, her arms tensed by her sides now.

"He was out on a scouting patrol, this was only a day after the initial fail of our plan. No one is really sure what happened, but somehow he was separated from the group. They found his body is a river the next day, a dozen or so stab wounds on his lower abdomen. Another male body was found not much farther upstream, his throat slit supposedly by his own hand. The story we have is that the man killed Nikolai and then himself. We haven't been able to find the man's identity or who he may have been working for."