Emma and Will pregnancy

William Thomas Belmont Duval

Right Emma get ready on 3 to push please. I need the biggest push ever. AHHHHHHHHH THIS FUCKING KILLS. Come on Emma babe you can do this, our boy is soon here. Come on push Emma. AHHHHHHHHH (Emma screams the room down). That's is Emma come on you can do this. I need the biggest push ever. AHHHHHHHH FUCKING GET THIS BOY OUTTTTT AHHHHHH. That's is Emma well done, one last push and your boy will be here. Come on Emma, grab my hand let's do this. AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH. Yes yes he's out Emma our boy is here. Wait wait why isn't he crying. Will why isn't our boy crying. I I don't know Emma. Emily why isn't he crying.

Doctor why isn't there son crying. Emily he's not breathing, we our trying our best but he's not breathing. Doctor what can we do. Am sorry to say but there's not we can do. He was stillborn. Emily please tell us why our son isn't breathing.

Will Emma am so so sorry but your baby boy was born stillborn. He isn't breathing. What what no your lying no my son is alive. Emma we our so sorry. (Will walks out the room). Will come back.

So is my grandson here. Will son what's the matter. Erm Maggie can you go be with Emma please. Will son what has happened is everything ok. (Will runs off crying his eyes out). It's fine I'll go after him. Thank you Jake.

Will Will what's wrong. Jake he's gone. MY SON IS FUCKING DEAD. What Bro, omg Will am so sorry. Came here, listen calm down. You need to go back and be with Emma. Jake I can't, I can't go back in that room and see my son is not alive. Will listen you have to go back. Emma needs you in there. Jake how am I supposed to live knowing that I've lost my little boy my world. Right Will sit down, you need to be with Emma right now she needs you right now. Come on let's go back in.

Will your back. Son am so sorry to hear. Come here son, you need to go back in there with Emma. She needs you right now. I know mom, but how am I suppose to go back in there and see my son not alive. Son I promise you we will all get though this together, but right now Emma and you need each other right now.

Will enters the room: (Emma is crying into Maggies arms). Will, will your back. Emma am so sorry I left, I shouldn't of but I I didn't know what to do. Just please come sit with me all I want is you. Thank you Maggie, you can go back out now. Both of you am outside if you need me. Thanks Maggie.

Will what our we going to do. My beautiful boy is gone. Emma we will get though this together. Will I want my son, I want to see him to hold him. I'll go get Emily. (Outside speaking to Emily). Emily erm Emma would like to hold him please. Yes of course, I will bring him though now. Thank you.

Now I just want to let you both know you have 3 days with him in the hospital before he has to been cremated or buried. Thank you Emily, please can we have some alone time. Yes yes of course, the doctor will be with you both in the next couple of hours to discuss everything. Thank you.

Will he's beautiful, he looks just like you. He does, he has my nose and mouth. He does, Do you want to hold him. Erm yes please, how how do you hold him I don't want to hurt him. You won't I promise, just fold your arms then I will place him into your arms. Hello William am am your daddy, I know you can't hear me but you would of been an amazing son to me, you still our it's just upsetting that I won't be able to do anything with you as you grow up. (Emma starts to cry more). Hey hey am sorry Em, I didn't mean to upset. No no don't be sorry, this is an upsetting time. Will you can cry too, because I know by the look in your eyes you want to cry. I want to stay strong for you tho Em, yes I want to cry so badly I want to scream but I need to be strong for you.

Me and Emma spend the next hour with William, we take some photos and we have little conversations with him even tho he's not here we just want to talk to him and speak about our lives. We talked about Mia how she would of been his big sister. We then ask everyone to come in and meet him, hold him.

Hey girl, how you doing. Emma I can't explain how sorry I am for you both. Thank you Brooke, here's your beautiful nephew. Aww he looks just like Will, he would of been a gorgeous boy. He would of indeed. Do you wanna hold him Brooke. Yeah please, come here my little nephew.

Everyone left about an hour ago, me and Emma are sitting on the bed with William just looking at him and talking to him. Then the doctor comes in. Good evening Emma and Will, how are you both doing. Evening, yes we're getting there. Good good, now I just wanted to talk about what will happen now. Alright thank you for taking with us.

So you both will have 3 days to spend with him before he's either cremated or buried. So tomorrow if you would like you can take him home so he can be at home with you both for his last few days then on the third day bring him in, say your goodbyes then we will do what you decide. Now would you like him buried or cremated. So we're going to move you to a different room for tonight, Will there's also a bed in there for you.

Right ok so we have 3 days, what will happen on the day and we would like him buried. I wanted to ask how did this happen like how did he pass away. So the placenta was wrapped around his neck making him to stop breathing. No I do have some upsetting news because of the lose of your son, and due to your placenta it might take up to years to get pregnant again some are up to 2 years but some have been 5 years. What 5 years to get pregnant. Yes am really sorry but there are medicine that can help get pregnant faster. Right ok. So that is everything I need to tell you both, I will leave you both. If you need anything me or Emily will be outside. Thank you.

Will what are we going to do. What do you mean Em. Will how am I supposed to wake up every morning knowing that my son has died. How am I supposed to live without him. Emma I promise you we will get though this. Even if it takes years we will get though it. One day at a time. Listen William will be with us forever he'll be looking down on us both. Will what about Mia. She's lost her new friend her baby brother. She's to young to understand right now but when she's older we will sit her down and tell her that she has a baby brother in heaven. And we can try again in the future. Yeah but it could take up to 10 years. If it takes up to 10 years then it takes up to 10 years I promise you we will have another child just not yet. Thank you Will, for being with me. Taking care of me. Emma am always going to be here for you every since day even at our death am going to be with you. Am never leaving you. I love you Will. And I love you too Emma. And I love William, love you forever son.

Me and Will have moved to the new room for the night, it's nice a cosy, Will has a bed. It's a room you go to after the lost of your child. There music and lights. They have a changing bit to get them changed because you can get them buried in clothing. Me and Will but him in a baby gown that says 'New to the world' with a blue hat.

We sit on the bed together with William in Emma's arms. We just look at William speaking to him, telling him all about his family and what we would of done if he was here. We try not to get upset but we just can't help it. Emily comes by every hour for check on us and bring us some food. Emma's mom FaceTime us before to show us Mia, but we decided to end it early because it was upsetting Emma seeing Mia while she was holding William.

It's around 2am, Emma has fallen to sleep. She fell asleep in my arms because she couldn't stop crying. I place William in my arms and speak to him father and son.

Hey son am your daddy. Am Will you have the same name as me, now I know you can't hear me but I want to speak to you. I can't believe it that your gone, that I'll never see you craw, walk, talk or start your future take you to basketball matches you and your sister. Your sister Mia would of loved you, she is very young but always use to cuddle mommy's stomach. Me and Mommy were so excited to meet you, your nursery was animal themed, mommy wanted it like that and your mommy and Auntie Brooke spent a fortune on clothes for you. I've always wanted a son, and I got a daughter and Son. I promise you am going to do you proud, tomorrow is going to be the hardest day for me saying goodbye to you son. I love you. Night night gorgeous Boy. (Will places William in the basket)

Will falls asleep next to Emma in the bed.