Emma and Will pregnancy

Goodbye Our Angel Son

Today is the day we have to leave William. We drive back to the hospital with him, we decided to take him home so we could make his feel at home. It was just us three. We cried, we talked and we were happy. The doctor takes us into the goodbye room. We change him into our choice of clothing. We just him in a baby grown that say 'I love mommy and Daddy', with a white hat, while slippers and a white dressing gown. We place him in this box. We put in the box with him photos of his family, a dummy, bottle, blanket and Teddy. We give him kisses and say our goodbyes before we leave.

Will I want him back. I want our son back. I know I know, but we can't have him back. Am sorry baby but we can't. He's with the Angels now. (Emma falls to the fall). I just want to hold him one last time. I want my boy back. Come here, Emma I promise you it will get better. How is this going to get better we have lost our son. Are beautiful baby boy.

(In the doctors office). Am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what your going though. Thank you doctor. So I wanted to talk what will happen now. Right ok, is it ok if I just take because I don't think Emma is up to talking. Yes of course that's fine. I understand. Thank you. Right so our nurses will take William to the funeral directors, his funeral will be in 2 weeks time. You both have to decide everything for that if that's ok. So on the day, he will be brought in a car that will take you both to the church. Then he will have his own burial. Now the nurses are going to sort him out for you both. Right ok, how can we contact the funeral directors. Here is there card, you have a meeting with them this weekend. Right perfect, thank you for sorting that out for us. Your welcome, so do you have any questions.

Well you know when it's his funeral do we get to see him that day like hold him one last time. So yes you will have 10 minutes to hold him and say you final goodbye to him. Right ok, I think that's everything. Em do you wanna ask anything. (Emma keeps quiet). Right so I'll let you both get home, am so sorry again for your lost make sure you both get rest and our there for each other. Thank you doctor.

They leave the hospital and drive home. The drive home is quiet, Emma cries the way home Will has tears coming down his face but keeps quiet because he doesn't wanna cry in front of Emma. They both arrive home, Will helps Emma out.

Emma do you want me to get you anything. The only thing you can get me right now is my son back. Emma you know I would if I could, I'll be up in a min. Ok, see you upstairs. (Will grabs a glass of water then heads up to the nursery).

In the nursery: Why why does this have to happen to me. This is all my fault, I've lost my son my only son. My beautiful boy. How do I go day to day knowing that am never going to see my son again never take him to a basketball game or when he stays kindergarten. Watching him and Mia grow up today. This is killing me, I hate it. All I want is my baby boy back in my arms. Never even got to hear him cry, laugh, talk or smile.

Will why was you shouting. Erm it was nothing, you ok can I get you anything. Nope nothing, I just want to cry my eyes and never open them again. Listen Emma don't think like that. We're gonna get though this together. We're in it together. Yeah I know but I just want my son back in my arms. And I want that too, every since we left him it's been killing me that he's there all alone. Yeah but I had to carry him for 8 months to not even bring him home. Emma am gonna sleep in the guest room because I don't wanna argue with you. Right ok, bye then. Night, if you need me in the night please wake me.

I grab my charger and get into the bed with just my boxers on. Everyone has texted me asking if we're both ok and if we need anything. I don't really wanna see anything right now. I just want to be able to bring my son home, place him in between me and Emma in bed and watch Mia be a big sister. That's all I want right now. (Will falls asleep)

It's been 2 days without William, Emma hasn't moved since we came home. My mom and Emma's mom, Brooke and Jake have been around everyday checking if we're alright but we say we are but we're not. These past 2 days have been hell, all I want is to wake up from this horrible dream.