William's funeral

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Today is a Friday, it's the day of Williams funeral. The day Me and Emma are burying our son. It's around 6 I've been up since 4 but sitting up in bed staring at the walls not wanting to cry. The funeral is at 12, everyone is coming to ours at 11 and we decided to drive down together. Mia is going to be at nursery all day then Maggie is going to pick her up and let her sleepover at hers for the weekend. It's not 7 and I hear Mia shouting Dadda.

In the nursery: Morning baby girl, did you miss your daddy. Come here for a morning cuddle. I missed you to baby girl, now you have an exciting weekend coming up. So Daddy is going to drop you off at nursery in about an hour, then grandma Maggie is going to pick you up from nursery and then your going to have a weekend sleepover at Grandma Maggie, and I think tomorrow she is going to take you to the zoo and Grandma Adaline is also going to be there so you will have both grandma there tomorrow.

I wake to the sound of laughter coming from Mia room, I get out of bed and go to her room. I thought the little side of the door and see Will and Mia laughing on the floor. I just feel tear following down my face, I run into the bathroom slam the door, sit on the toilet lid and just cry my heart out. I hear the bathroom door slam, I take Mia downstairs place her in her play room watching peppa pig and go into the bathroom to see Emma crying.

Hey what the matter, what's wrong. I can't do today, I can't buried my son, it doesn't feel right. I can't do it. Listen to me, we're are both doing this together, we have each other. I don't want to do it either but we have to Emma, we have to let him go and be at peace. I was watching you and Mia in her room, and it just made me realise am never going to see you do that with William ever and it's breaking my heart. It's breaking mine too, that am never going to experience what I have with Mia with William. After a few minutes Emma calms down, we both go downstairs to find Mia playing with her doll and watching peppa pig. Good morning my gorgeous girl, how did you sleep.

3 hours later: Mia is now at nursery, Will picked us both up breakfast because we didn't feel like cooking. We're both taking shower then getting ready. While Will was out I had another massive. We both finish our showers, Brooke and Jake said that they would be round in 10.

30 minutes later: I decided to where a light blue dress with his initials sawed into it, with my white flats. Will wears a light navy blue suit with also his initials sawed onto the sleeve with his smart black shoes. We both go downstairs to find everyone waiting. Hey you both, how you doing. Yeah ok, thank you for picking up the flowers. Your welcome, you both picked beautiful ones. Well we thought blue and green would of been his favourite colour. Well there beautiful, what time are we leaving at. Well we have an hour but it takes 10 minutes to get there so we don't have to leave till 50.

At the church: We arrive inside the church, me and Will have our 10 minutes with William. Saying are own goodbyes then the funeral starts. Will and Jack both place him down below before he's buried, we all throw a blue flowers down on top of him then he gets buried.

After the funeral, everyone goes back to ours but me and Emma stay for a while, sorting out his grave and taking to him. Think we did a good job Em. Yeah we did, tomorrow I want to go to the toy shop, get some toys for him to put on. Yeah of course we can. Will you know if you want to cry you can, am not going to judge you for crying. (Will cry's). Look it's gonna be ok Em, we're gonna get though this I promise, one day at a time. I love you Will you know that. I love you too, come on let's get home into the warm. Alright, love you William, night night my gorgeous boy. Goodnight son, love you.

Back home: Your both back, how you both doing. Erm yeah not bad, think am just gonna go upstairs for a bit. Em do you want me to come with you. No I'll be fine Will, but thanks. Thank you Will for being there for her, you both need each other right now Will. Thank you Maggie, thanks for everything you've done the month with Mia and us both. And you too Mom, thank you both. Your welcome son, Your welcome Will. We're always here for both of you. You know that, and we will both take care of Mia for how long you want until your both ready. Thank you, am gonna grab a drink.

Hey bro, am proud of you to. I know it was hard but you got thought it. Am really proud of you. Thanks Jake, that means a lot. Hey Will, how you doing. Hey Brooke, yeah not bad. I mean I wanna cry my heart out but I've got to stay brave for Emma. Will you know me or Jake are here for you, day or night. Where here for you and Emma. Thanks guys, it really does mean a lot. No problem bro, proud of you. Am gonna go check on Emma.

I make my way upstairs, to find Emma not in our bedroom where I thought she might be. Then I head crying coming from Williams nursery, there I find Emma on the floor with the Teddy with his heartbeat in, in her arms. Hey babe, you ok. No Will am not, I don't know what to do anymore. I just want him back even if it's for a second, all I want is our boy in my arms again. I know I know you do Em, if I could bring him back I'd do it in a flash you know I would. This isn't fair, why did it have to happen to us. Am sorry Em that I can't do anything, things will get better I promise you they will. (Emma's falls into Wills arms crying). I just want our boy back, our beautiful baby boy. Emma am sorry am sorry babe I won't to make you feel better but I can't, I don't know how too. Will I love you, you know that. Of course I know that, I love you too. I always will, and things will get better I promise you.

It's around about 10, everyone has just left now. There's loads of bottles and cans all in the kitchen. Me and Emma done a quick clean before heading to bed. I take a shower because I stink of beer and I don't want Emma smells it while we sleep. Emma is in bed watching friends, I join here

Am proud of you today Em, really proud of you. Am proud of you too Will, I know you don't want to show your feels but you know am here if you want to talk am always here. I love you Emma, forever and always (Will gives her a kisses). And I love you too.

They both fall asleep on each other, before they fell asleep they had post posted on there Instagram about William. Brooke posted one too.

 Brooke posted one too

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