Today am doing the hardest thing, the thing that most fathers will go though when they have lost a children. It's been 3 months since we lost William and Me and Emma have decided to dismantle Williams room because it's just all sat here. I've dread this day ever since coming home from the hospital. Emma's is out with Brooke all day, Mia is sleeping over at my moms this weekend to give me and Emmas some rest but Jake said he would pop round to help.
I grab a coffee and start taking apart of the cot. I can feel tears coming down my face, this is the worst thing ever, I never thought I would be doing this especially this being my child's furniture. The cot is down, I just look at it knowing that William will never sleep in this cot ever nobody will. I decided to sort his wardrobe out, Emma has decided to keep all his clothes and store then in garage because we don't want to get rid of his clothes ever tho he never got to wear then, there still his. Look at all his clothes we got him the Mummy and daddy ones we got him, we ever got him a babygrow that says "I love my big Sister Mia", we got her the same but hers says "I love my little brother" because we never chose a name for him. I finish taking down the wardrobe when the door goes, that will be Jake.
At the door: Hey bro how you doing. Hi Jake, come on it. Erm I could be better. I thought I'd help you with Williams nursery I brought some beers too. Thanks Jake, I was just about to take the chair and changing table apart.
Where are you gonna put everything, well Emma wants to keep the cot so gonna store that in the loft, then the wardrobe just gonna take it to the tip same with the chair and changing table. And then with his clothes Emma wants to keep them all and sore them in the garage. If you want I can take the wardrobe, chair and table to the tip while you finish the room. Yeah that would be good Jake. I'll go load my truck.
Well that everything done in his room I just need to take the wall art off and then it's just an empty room. I can just feel tear fall down my face, I just collapse on the floor screaming in sadness and anger. I fucking hate this, why did it have to happen to me and Emma, why did we have to lose our son. I hate it, I never get to hold him again. I never get to do the things father and sons do like take him basketball, football like nothing I just get to sit at his grave for hours speaking to him.
Hey Will what's up, you ok. No Jake I hate this I hate it all, why did it have to happen to me and Emma why, I just want William back that's all I want is to have him back. Hey come here, I know you do Will but you can't I mean i would do anything for bring him back for you but I can't and am sorry. Everything will be ok, it will get better. I know it will Jake, everyone has said that but I just hate waking up and thinking I never get to see him again.
A couple hours later: The nursery is now finished everything is gone, it's just a blue room now. Me and Emma have decided to not do anything to the room we're just going to leave it. We thought we could use it for when we do have another child in the future. Emma has just got home now.
Hey babe, how was today with Brooke. It was really nice, we went for lunch and a coffee. Then did some shopping I needed some new clothes. Well am glad you've had a nice day, you deserve it. How's your day been, how did it go with Williams nursery. Erm hard and emotional but everything is gone, in the loft and clothes in the garage. Thank you Will, am so proud of you. And am proud of you too, your such an amazing woman. I love you. Now what do you wanna do tonight. I was thinking Chinese takeout and movie night. Sounds amazing, am going to take theses up why don't you order. Alright babe.
On the phone: Hi there, I'd like to order a takeout for Will. Hi sir, what can I get you. Can I get two rices, noodles, two sweet and sours, wonton, duck and pancakes, chips and prawn crackers. Yes is that everything sir. Yes thank you. That will be $30.90 cash or card. I'll pay cash please. Perfect, should be there in 30 minutes. Thank you.
Just ordered now, let's see you clothes then. Thank you, and I got theses blue and black jeans, some simple tops, some jumpers for winter, aww and look at theses dresses I got Mia. Thought this one she could wear for her birthday. And I got these Nike trainers and got you some shorts and boxers because I know you've been wanting some. Thanks babe, I love everything and the dresses are so cute for Mia.
Downstairs: Right what shall we watch. Am kinda thinking horror, can we watch Jason. Yeah sure we haven't watched that in ages. And it is Halloween season. I can't believe Mia is going to be 1 in 2 weeks, it's gone so fast. I remember the day she was born, I remember looking at you and you crying. Well I had just welcomed my daughter with the love of my life. My two girls, it was the best day of my life. And mine too, remember when we brought her home from the hospital. She was so tiny, we didn't sleep for days but it was worth it. I know it was indeed, I remember when I would let you sleep and I'd have her for the morning oh they were the best just me and hers moments speaking to her and her little smile come out. You just did that because you wanted her to be a daddy's girl which she has become. Haha not my fault she still loved her mummy tho. Will you ok, what the matter.
Talking about Mia as a baby lead to tears. It's just we're never going to see William as a baby, toddler and teenage well anything and I hate that though. Aww babe it's ok come here. I promise it's going to get better in time. Yeah but how can it he's never going to be here again. Yeah but he's going to be in our heart and head from the rest of our lives. Yeah but it's just not the same, I still have the feeling in my arms when I first held him I wish I could go back to that day. The first time I had set eyes on him in my eyes, kissing his forehead hoping for a smile when Mia did when she was a born but then reality hit that he's not alive. Will I promise you things aren't going to get better in time it's going to take ages but we have each other. I love you Emma you know that. And I love you too Will (Kiss).
After dinner then both take showers then head to bed watching the third Jason movie. What shall we even get Mia for her birthday. Well she mostly likes Peppa pig and Dinosaur at the minute so then two. Well am going to do her a Peppa pig party this is the cake actually that I've ordered. Aww I love it Mia will too. Am going to go shopping next week for presents for her, Brooke said she'd go with me. I wanted to ask you if it was alright if I go with Jake to the basketball game next Tuesday. Yeah that's fine oh me and Brooke could go shopping then.
Night Em love you. Goodnight babe love you too.
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Emma and Will pregnancy
RomansaIn a town called Lakewood there were two couple named Emma and Will. They have been together for the past three years, they have known each other since they were baby's. They start high school together and finish together. Until one basketball game...
