Dallas Winston Has A Sister? (Outsiders Fanfic)

Do You Love Him?

        I felt someone moving next to me and then whoever it was poked me in the shoulder.

        "What Ponyboy?" I mumbled, not even opening my eyes.

        A voice that definitely wasn't Ponyboy's said, "I'm not Ponyboy, Tara."

        I opened my eyes to see Kate grinning down at me and she asked giddily, 'You were dreaming about him, weren't you?"

        I groaned and muttered, "No."

        "Ha, you're lying!" she shouted triumphantly, because though usually I was good at lying, I was too tired from getting woken up by her to try and make it seem like I was telling the truth this time.

        "Fine, but if you tell anyone, especially him, you'll find yourself stranded on a raft in the middle of the lake tonight," I admitted to it before threatening her.

        "Why do you never want to anyone to know that you care about him?" Kate asked me, for just a second sounding like a psychologist.

        "What?  Why does it matter to you anyways?" I shot back, immediately getting defensive.

        I hated talking about feeling, especially ones I had for Ponyboy, but Kate was open about everything and seemed to think everyone else should be that way too.

        She shrugged and replied, "It's just that you guy's never seem like boyfriend and girlfriend, but I know you like each other a lot.  You don't even show it though," she pointed out.

        "Point being...?" I trailed off, not sure what she was getting at.  She was just stating things I already knew.

        "Why?" she asked, meaning why didn't I ever show my feelings for him.

        "Because I don't feel like flaunting my relationship with him for everyone to scrutinize," I say like it's the most obvious answer in the world before climbing out of my sleeping bag and pawing through my bag that was spilling all over the floor of the tent.

        Kate and I were sharing a tent, seeing as how we were the only girls, and the rest of the gang were split up between two bigger four-person tents.  We had all decided to go camping after making a bet with Two-Bit that he coudln't go one weekend without T.V., and then we also made a bet that Two-Bit, Soda, and Steve couldn't go without chocolate cake, or Pony and Kate without a book to read for a whole weekend.  And that led to a camping trip for all of us in some way or another.

        "But it looks like you don't even love him!" Kate exclaimed.

        I stopped in the middle of pulling a blue, black, and white plaid shirt on over a different white T-shirt than I had been wearing for pajamas and turned to glare at her.

        "I never said I loved him, Kate," I said coldly, and I was definitely telling the truth that time.

        I never told anyone I loved them, because I had never loved anyone.  I hated my parents, I didn't even cry when my mom was shot in a mugging, I got along with Dally well enough to find him tolerable half the time and completely unbearable the other half, and I liked Pony a little--well, a lot--more than I'll admit but I never loved anyone.

        Kate was silent for a moment before asking, "But do you?"

        "Do I what?" I asked, irritated, cause I had been done with this conversation before it even stated.

        "Love him, even if you never told him?" she asked seriously.

        I hesitated a second too long before saying succinctly, "No."

        I got to my feet and unzipped the tent, ducking out and zipping it closed again before stalking off, heading for the lake.  I sat down on the edge of the dock, wishing the fresh clean scent of morning air could blow away the guilt in my gut.  The reason I had hesitated wasn't because I was lying and really did love him, but because I wasn't and wasn't sure I did love him.