Dallas Winston Has A Sister? (Outsiders Fanfic)

Johnny and Alcohol Do Not Mix

Note to Readers: This is probably one of the weirdest stories I've written so far, so beware.

        I walked into the Curtis's house the next morning to see Johnny passed out on the couch, and Two-Bit was sprawled on the floor with his face smushed into a pillow and a blanket tangled around his middle.

        It would be so fun to wake them up right now.

        I ran into the kitchen and grabbed the pan that Ponyboy was cracking eggs into, and instead his first egg ended up on the stove rather than in the pan.

        "Tara!  What are you doing?" Pony asks me, upset that I had made him make a mess, but I just grabbed a wooden spoon off the counter and ran back into the living room.

        I leaned over Johnny, knowing he'd hate me for being so mean, but I clanged the spoon against the pan right over his ear.

        Johnny screamed and sat up with a start, turning to me with a confused and pained expression on his face as he clutched his hands to his head.

        "What is that noise?  My ears won't stop ringing," he complains, for once looking genuinely mad.

        I was too busy laughing and Johnny groaned and whined, "My head feels like it's going to explode."

        "My eardrums were about to burst after listening to you talking all night last night," Soda says as he comes into the living room in just jeans and grabs the chocolate milk, taking a swig right out of the container.

        "What?" Johnny mumbles, obviously confused and overcome with a huge headache as he leaned back on the couch.

        I just grinned imagining what he'd say to what we were about to tell him and proceeded to wake Two-Bit up the same way I had woken Johnny up, and he started swearing and yelling at me for having no respect for the dead.  Two-Bit always got mad if you woke him up when he had a hangover, but he soon got over it.

        "You wouldn't stop talking.  Steve and Two-Bit put something in your coke and you wouldn't shut up after that.  Half the stuff you said didn't make any sense," Soda told Johnny.

        Looking worried, Johnny asked cautiously, "What'd I say?"

        Soda, Pony, and I broke into grins and then Pony asked warily, "Are you sure you want to know Johnny?"

        "Yes!" Johnny shouts but then groans and clasps his hands to his ears again, obviously being too loud for himself to tolerate.

        "Wait, Johnny got drunk last night?  I wish I'd seen that!" Two-Bit says disbelievingly and then sounds disappointed.

        "You did see it.  You were the one that got him drunk," I tell Two-Bit in a duh voice.

        "Really?" Two-Bit asks, confused, at the same time Johnny asks, "What?" obviously not remembering what Soda had just told him.

        I rolled my eyes and said loudly, "Gentlemen, I now present you with exhibits A and B as to why I don't drink," in a game show host voice, gesturing emphatically at Two-Bit and Johnny.

        "Quiet down, please," Johnny pleads tiredly, a hand on his forehead.  "Now what did I say last night?" he asked.

        "All right," I replied, trying to control my laughing.

        "Well first you were talking about how come there was a chicken on one of the advertisements behind the bar and that it should have been a frog, and then you struck up a conversation with a random kid who ended up screaming and running away from you, and then his mom almost called the cops until an officer who was at the bar that was off duty interfered.  He told us to keep you under control or we'd all get thrown in jail, and then you insisted on seeing the inside of a jail.  And that was only the first half of the night," Pony explains.

        Johnny looked at him like he was crazy and then asked incredulously, "I seriously said that?  You're lying, I wouldn't do something like that," he says.

         "That's what we thought until Two-Bit got sick and you wanted to see what he had eaten," Soda says.

        Johnny made a disgusted face and asked, "You're not lying, are you?"

        "No," I answered monotonely, entirely serious though it was really hard to look serious when I recalled what had happened with Johnny last night.  After we convinced him that it wasn't worth it to try and see what Two-Bit had eaten before he threw up, he wanted to wait around and see if any animals would come eat it.

        "I don't think I want to know the rest," Johnny moans, throwing his arm over his eyes.

        "Are you kidding me?  This is more entertaining than anything else that's ever happened!" Two-Bit shouted, and him and Johnny cringed at his loud voice.

        "We're gonna tell you anyways," I said with a smirk.  "After we got you to leave Two-Bit's half-digested stomach contents alone, we were heading home and some Socs from out of town tried to jump us, and that was probably the only time you shut up, thankfully.  I almost wish they had knocked you out, because after all you kept saying was that their hair matched their shoes," I continue retelling Johnny's crazy night.

        A muffled moan comes out of the pillow in place of Johnny's face, but we continue anyways.

        "Then you wanted us to all have shoes that matched our hair," Pony continued, and I'm pretty sure Johnny was trying his hardest to not listen but Two-Bit was enthralled.

        "Yeah," Soda said with a grin, "You wanted to tie garbage bags to your feet so they'd match your hair and you said that we should find some cardinals to stick on Ponyboy's feet to match his red hair..."

        "Shut up," Johnny moaned. "I don't want to hear anymore, please," he begged and then asked randomly, "Does anyone have any aspirin and why am I seeing fireflies?" he asked as he removed the pillow from his face.

        We all busted up laughing and Two-Bit asked, "Are you sure you still aren't drunk, Johnnycake?"