swim || remus lupin

remus

Remus had not slept in days.

On Sunday, while at dinner, the Marauders were suspicious of the absence of their female friends. They finished the meal feeling a bit off, a bit like something was wrong.

When they returned to Gryffindor Tower, the girls were nowhere to be found. Not in the common room, not in their dorm, not in any corridors, not at dinner. Remus could not shake the off putting feeling.

Around seven, while sat playing wizards chess with Peter, Remus's mind was elsewhere, feeling off. Then they were interrupted by a knock at the door, by Professor McGonagall, who informed the boys that they needed to go to the infirmary at once. Something was wrong.

When Remus entered the quiet white room, as he had done so many times, he felt off. Typically he was on the other end of these types of visits.

When Remus turned the corner and found Alice, Marlene, and Lily, sitting in uncomfortable chairs, all with puffy eyes and shaking hands, he felt off. He had never seen all three of them so out of sorts.

When Remus followed their gazes to the bed, the stiff bed, the bed he himself had occupied all too often, he did not feel off.

He felt as though someone had thrown him from a cliff. He felt as though he was falling, endlessly, with no hope of surviving. He felt as though he couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He felt as though his head hurt.

He sat by Sydney's bedside on Sunday night, with her hand in his, and his headache kept him awake.

Remus had not been permitted to miss his classes. No matter how much he fought, Dumbledore had told him that Sydney was in proper care, and Remus should not let his education fall subject to failure.

Dumbledore, Remus thought, was full of shit.

Remus attended his classes, but he did not complete his work. This was in part because he was too distracted to care about the Great War or useless knowledge about centaurs. This was also because he was outraged with Dumbledore for forcing him to sit through lessons knowing that had Sydney actually been in 'proper care' she wouldn't have been in that blood soaked gown in the first place.

He sat by Sydney's bedside on Monday night, with her hand in his, and his anger kept him awake.

By Tuesday, it had become a habit to have meals in the hospital wing.

Remus had convinced Madam Pomfrey to permit their large group to spend the nights, so long as they were quiet and promised not to let it affect their sleep schedules.

So each morning someone, usually Peter, would go down to the Great Hall and return with an assortment of foods and drinks. Then for lunch, they would all walk down together, and stay for the entire block. Then, aside from James who was forced to continue with quidditch practices, the six mates would go straight to the infirmary after classes and stay through dinner and then repeat the process.