Since The Beginning// A MerDer FF//

Chapter 16

Derek Shepherd

All Meredith has done for three days is sleep. She barely ate. She knows that she could get worse if she doesn't eat. Let alone, get out of bed.

I felt bad. I barely even knew how to help her. She was pissed at me. I don't know if she still is considering, she doesn't talk.

Rounds are about to start so I wake her up.

"Meri. Wake up please."

"Mmmmm"

"I know but please wake up. Rounds are in 5 minutes."

She rolls over and pats the bed.

"I don't wanna hurt you."

She shakes her head and hold her arms out. God I love her.

I climb in and wrap my arms around her.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"Good. That's good.....I love you."

"I love you too, Der."

The interns came in and so did the doctors on her case.

"With everything considered, I think it's reasonable for you to go home tomorrow."

Gives her just enough time to get in a good mindset for court.

"Ok. Thank you Dr." I say.

They leave and Mer goes back to sleep. I just sit here and hold her. What else am I supposed to do? I don't think they make books on what to do when your girlfriend wants to die because she was shot. Sorry. That's a bit too much.

I start packing some of the things she doesn't need so she can get out of this place as soon as possible. She has spent way too much time in a hospital. She needs an escape. I tried to be quiet so she wouldn't wake up. She doesn't really need the sleep, but it keeps her from her thoughts and the outside world.

Mom and dad soon come in and sit down. I go back to my position with Mer.

There is no real or reasonable answer as to why those girls would cause Mer this pain, but I do know the answer as to why I will try to ease it, I love her. And I hate seeing her in pain. I really hate it. That's why, when she started to double over in pain, I wanted to cry.

"Mer, you're ok you're fine. Do you want any meds?"

"No."

Meredith POV

Eventually, the pain would get too bad. I knew that. I knew that well. My dad is a doctor and so is my mom. I also knew that, when a body cannot take the amount of pain it's received, it will go limp. In other words, I will pass out. Derek will think I'm just sleeping and not put an oxygen mask on me. So, when my body gets too deprived of oxygen, I will die. It will give me an out. I won't be blamed. It makes this whole thing easier. Easier sounds so much better than this. To just escape and leave. Leave the endless hours of bed rest. The horrible nightmares. The constant terror and fear. And to escape the day I have to face the people who did it and talk about it completely for the first time...pretty much ever. Finally escape. Now that I think about it, no ones gonna miss me. My mother and father hate me. Mom and dad only care because was some useless 3 year old who needed a parent. My sisters all felt obligated to accept me. Derek, god. I put him through so much. He is sitting here, right now, trying to get me to take meds. I kind of don't hear everything he is saying.

"Mer. Mer! Please, you're gonna pass out! Take the meds!"

"N-no. Oowwww"

I was basically sobbing.

"Please, Mer."

"Jus-just ki- kill me!"

"No. Listen. Mer, look at me. I love you. So much. So I need you to take these meds so you can get better. I know you don't want to, but believe me when I say, the 13+ people in the waiting room, they need you. So you have to fight. You have to keep going. Please. Just take the meds and you can go to sleep."

I look at him. He looks like he is on the verge of crying. Or he is crying. The pounding headache and blurring vision, I can't tell. I nod my head before I feel weak. Like I can't breathe. I start gasping for air but I am frozen and I can't move. So I give into whatever it was.

Derek's POV

Shit. She passed out. I place the oxygen mask on her so she can get air. I then press the call button and fill the nurse in on what happened. She said that she should be awake soon and she would give her a high dose of pain meds.

Mom and dad came in along with the rest of our friends. I'm kind of...spaced out. I don't know if I can keep her spirits up much longer and that fact scares me. If she dies........I just can't. She can't leave. She won't leave. Just. I already told the rest, don't judge her or lecture her. She can't handle that.

To be continued....