Better Than I Know Myself

Chapter Twenty-Six

(Holly's POV)

I can finally come home, after over a year away I can go home. The one person that is the reason I ran away to begin with is gone. I am worried what dad and Jay's reaction will be when I walk through the front door. Will they be happy to see me? Would they be upset because I ran away? Would they even believe me when I tell them the reason I ran away? I am scared as I am almost to the house. I have waited so long to come home; to see my dad and big brother. I missed them so much and it hurt to leave but I just couldn't take it anymore.

I unlock the door and walk in. My stomach drops. The house is a mess with empty liquor bottles scattered on the floor. It reeks of vomit and stale alcohol, this isn't right. I run upstairs and find it worse looking than the living room. I open Jay's bedroom door; everything is gone. There is no trace of him ever being here. This can't be right. I run over to my parent's room and find it just as disgusting as the rest of the house. Nothing in the room belongs to my dad: all of his belongings are gone. Had my parents gotten a divorce, had dad and Jay moved out? Had my mom finally confronted my dad about the affair he was having?

I walk over to my old room. It is completely trashed. It looks like nothing it did on the day I ran away. All my clothes were thrown on the floor; pictures I left behind were ripped up. I sit down on my bed and start to cry. What have I done? I left because I couldn't take it anymore. Now that I can finally come home, there is no one here. I should have just waited a little bit longer. I should have just told Jay what was going on.

Now I am alone again. I thought I would be able to come back to my family and they were going to be waiting for me with open arms, but I was wrong. I sigh deeply before I get up and walk out of my room. I needed to get out of here. It was only making me feel worse than I already did.

I walk around my old neighborhood for a while. It has been a while since I was here and things look the same. I make my way to the old playground Jay and I used to hang out at. It was our place and it was one of the places we could be happy without getting in trouble by our mom when we got too loud. The swings is where we hung out the most. We used to see who could go higher or who could jump off the farthest. I always had fun with my big brother but when he got a girlfriend things changed. He was hardly ever home and he didn't have time for me. That is when everything started happening at home.

I hated thinking about that time. It was hard and at the time I had no one to talk to. Mom always made sure I was never alone with Jay because she never wanted me to tell Jay what she was doing. When she found out about dad's mistress she flipped out and I was the only one around and the only one around any time she got mad about things my dad did wrong. I never understood. If she was so mad at my dad, why didn't she ever tell him anything?

As I walk closer to the swings I notice two guys there. The closer I get, I notice one of them looks like Jay, but who is this other guy with him. Then, I see the one that looks like Jay get up from the swing and pull the other guy up. He steps closer to him as he places his hand behind his neck and pulls him in to kiss him.

I am confused. What had happened to Alyson and why is he making out with this guy? But right now I have to see if he is really Jay. "Jay is that you?" I ask as I walk closer, I see him stiffen up at my voice. "Jay is that you?" He turns around and I feel so relieved he is him.

"Holly is that really you?" He says as tears start spilling from his eyes.

I am so happy to see him again. I missed him so much. I run to him and jump on him, he groans in pain as he catches me.

"My god Holly. I thought I was never going to see you again. You have no idea how much I have missed you."

He holds me as tight as he can with one arm.