The Perfect Ride

Chapter 27

May 24th. Roz was 10 weeks pregnant and extremely sick. I was a nervous wreck. And, Jess was in extreme pain. He woke up screaming this morning because of pain in his neck. My heart broke for him, but his doctors got him some stronger meds and that helped.

By the time 8AM rolled around, the PT, Melissa Adams was in the room with Jess and I.

"So, lay it on me, Doc" Jess says. He was sitting up, in a good mood since his meds were changed. I sat in his bed beside him.

"Well, as you already know, you're going to need physical therapy for your neck and you'll be in a brace for about 8 weeks" She explains.

"Yes, ma'am" He says. She cleared her throat and let out a small sigh.

"Let me as you a question, Jess" She says. "How high are the chances of you taking a fall like this again?"..

"Uh, well, being a bull rider, there's always a chance that you'll fall, but you get right back up" He says.

"Yes, but you didn't. You broke your neck. Severely. If this were to happen again-".

"No. Don't say it" I say putting my hand up. "Don't say what I think you're going too". I'd already felt tears forming in my eyes, but I had to be strong for Jess.

"I'm sorry, Jess. Your injuries were extensive, and if you were to get on a bull again and fall off at all, you could die. Your chances of getting on a bull again right now are slim to none. We'll check back in 6 weeks. I'll be in contact with the PT on the tour. I truly hope you beat those odds. As of now, I am very sorry". She says.

"Uh, thank you. I appreciate it" He says. She nods before walking away. As soon as she was out of sight, Jess bawled. I hugged him as tight as I could. Once Roz and Ellie, who were waiting outside the hospital room heard him, they immediately ran in and hugged him too.

Jess's sobs filled the room, and all I could do was keep my eyes closed and squeeze.

"Why?" He asks. "Baby, why me?".

"I don't know" I say. "I'm so sorry".

We stayed like that for what felt like forever. That was until Ellie pulled away. She grabbed my hand.

"Come on, let's take a walk" She says.

"No, I don't want to" I say.

"Baby, go. I'm fine" Jess says. Roz sat in bed beside him with her head on his shoulder. I nodded and followed Ellie.

"What are you doing?" I ask her as the door shuts behind her.

"Come here" She says and pulls me into her. I didn't know what she did this for until the minute I felt her arms around me, I burst into tears. "You're there for him, and I'm here for you". I sobbed into her shoulder.

"Why him?" I ask. She squeezed tighter, but no response. "I hate this". A few seconds later, she pulled away.

"Hey, look at me. You and Jess are both getting through this, okay? It's okay to hurt and be sad, but it's not forever".

"Ell, she literally just said it is!" I shout.

"No. It is for six weeks. You stay positive. You be that sister that pushed me to barrel race when I wanted to give up. You and Jess are stronger than this" She says. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Okay" I say. "Let's go back in". She nods and we walk in. Jess and Roz were still in the same position. I went and sat beside him too. Ellie sat at the foot of his bed.

"I'm sorry, baby" Jess says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because..." He took a deep breath, trying to fight tears. "I'm not a bull rider anymore". He broke down again. I hugged him tightly again.

"No. No, don't you say that" I say. "Don't you dare say that". Roz stood up.

"Ell, let's go get Jess some breakfast" She says. Ellie got the hint and they walked out the door. I sat up and looked at him.

"If you think the reason I love you is because you ride bulls, you couldn't be more wrong" I say. "I love you because you have the sweetest soul in the world. You have the kindest words. You have the biggest heart. You're incredible. You're smart, you're funny, you have the ability to make everyone you meet smile. You love Roz and her baby like they're your own. And, Jess-" I stopped because I felt tears coming on. "Jess, you make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the whole world. You make me feel complete. Like, no matter what happens to me in my life, it will be okay, because I have you. I want you forever, Jess Lockwood. You. Not the bullrider I met on March 19th. You".

He rested his head on my shoulder and held my hand tightly. I knew he was crushed inside and that crushed me, because no matter how tight I squeezed him, I would never be able to put those pieces back together inside him.