The Perfect Ride

Chapter 28

May 31st. It had been one week since Jess got the worst news of his life. Ellie went back to Montana.. Roz was 11 weeks pregnant and on her last week of performing. We were in Washington this week.

Because it was Monday, we had a day off. I still had to do shows and Roz did too. Until next week. Jess asked to be left alone for the day, so Roz and I went to a little Cafe beside the hotel. She had a check up this afternoon, so we were waiting for that.

"I'll just take a coffee" I say.

"And I'll take water with a bagel" Roz tells the waiter. It was killing her not having coffee. "How's Jess today?".

"He's... alone in a hotel room in a strange city, heartbroken" I say. She sighs. "I don't know what to do anymore. I help him with showers. Getting dressed. Everything. I don't know what else to do".

"There isn't anything you can do, Sadie. He just got his dream ripped out from underneath him. He needs time. Give him that" She says.

"Well, maybe seeing your little peanut will cheer him up" I say. She smiles and agrees.

"Let's hope so. I'm almost in my 2nd trimester" She says.

"Are you excited?" I ask.

"I don't know. I kinda feel like Jess. The thing I love, I can't do anymore" She says.

"You and Jess will both be back at it again" I say, trying to cheer her up. "I try to tell Jess that all the time".

"You think after the kid is here, I can go back to doing what I was? I'll be a mom, Sadie. A child will depend on me for literally everything. I can't risk my life riding upside down on horses anymore" She says.

"I guess, I never thought about it that way" I say.

"Yeah, because it didn't happen to you. Sadie, you heard the doctor say that if Jess gets back on a bull and falls, he'll die. You keep telling him everyday he'll be back riding again, but he won't. Do you want him to die?" She asks. She really twas opening my mind to something I hadn't thought about.

"Well, no" I say.

"Stop telling him that he'll be riding again, when we all know he won't" She says. I sigh and put my head in my hands.

"I just wish things were normal" I say.

"They won't be normal anymore. He's not a bull rider anymore and I won't trick ride again. This isn't the same tour you joined two months ago" She says. I wasn't even mad at her talking this way to me, because everything she said was true.

"Yeah, just goes to show everything is always changing" I say before standing up to go to the bathroom. I locked myself in the stall and bawled. I wasn't mad at Roz or anything. It just sucked realizing that she was right.

A couple minutes later, the door opened.

"Sadie?" I hear Roz say. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be mean". I open the door.

"You weren't. You're right. Just sucks to hear" I say. She pulls me into her.

"He's still Jess. That man isn't going anywhere" She says.

"I know" I say pulling away.

"Come on. Wipe that from away, and let's let's see this peanut" She says. I smiled and followed her out. As soon as we started down the street, I got a call. It was Cooper.

S- cooper?

C- hey, sadie. are you near the hotel?

S- uh, yeah. roz and i are leaving lunch right now. she has an appointment. why?

C- jess called. he took a fall and needed help but im not near the hotel.

S- okay. thanks cooper.

C- no problem. tell roz ill meet her at her appointment so she isn't alone.

S- okay. bye.

I hung up the phone and sighed.

"What?" Roz asks.

"Jess fell and called Cooper. I need to go help him" I say. "Cooper said he'll meet you at your appointment".

"Okay, but why didn't Jess call you?" She asks.

"Beats me" I say throwing my hands up.

"Okay, I'll come see you when I'm done, okay?".

"Alright" I say before making my way towards the hotel. Whwn I arrived, Jess was on the group in the kitchen.

"Cooper?" He yelled.

"No. Babe, it's me" I say. He groaned. His hair was a greasy mess and he hadn't put on a shirt for a week.

"I called Cooper" He says. I held out my arm to him. He pushed it away.

"Babe, Cooper was busy. Roz and I were close, so be called me. Let me help" I say extending my arm again. He turned his head. I sigh and sit next to him. "Why didn't you call me?".

"I just didn't" He replies quickly, with a harsh tone.

"You knew I was just next door, babe" I say.

"Well, maybe I didn't want your help!" He yells. "Maybe I don't want any of this!".

"I know you would rather be on a bull this week, but that isn't happening" I say.

"Don't you think I know that, Sadie! Don't you think I know my life is over! Don't you think I beat myself up every day for getting on that damn bull!" He yells. "Now look at me, I can't do a God damn thing!".

"That's why I'm here. And, Roz" I say. He scoffs. "We love you, and we are gonna take care of anything that you need. Ellie too. She could fly back and be with us. We're We're here for you".

"Well, maybe I don't want you here! Maybe I want some damn space!" He yells.

"Space?" I question, standing up.

"Yes, Space" He says. "I didn't call you, because you smother me, and I want to be left alone. I don't want someone here 24/7 to do every damn thing for me. I don't need that. You keep saying I'll be riding again, but I can't if you do everything else for me. You're suffocating, Sadie. I just want my own space that you're not always in". My heart broke in that moment.

"Well, if that's how you feel then I'll just go" I say.

"Good! Stay gone!" He yells.

"Jess" I say softly.

"No, Sadie. Just...get out" He says with tears in his eyes. "I don't know how much longer I can do this".

"Do what?" I question.

"This!" He says throwing his hands up. "I can't...I can't do this, Sadie".

"Are you saying-".

"I'm breaking up with you".