Bucky's Diary

May 12, 2003

Darkside – Alan Walker (ft. Au/Ra & Tomine Harket)
—————•—————

Dear Diary,

Today was a long day, longer than usual.

We did something special called 'until failure' training where we wake the Widows up at a ridiculous hour, probably around 3:00 when the sun still has yet to rise, and train them without resting until their bodies fail. This usually runs until around 17:00 when the final girl breaks and we allow them the rest of their night to themselves, including dinner.

We don't do this often, maybe twice a year, but it's deemed important because sometimes, out on a mission, we're put in situations that we don't get to rest at all and always have to be on high alert. So, practicing such skills is as important as practicing anything else.

----------

I checked the clock as I finished my dinner, it was 22:56 and I was just about ready to get in bed and go to sleep.

Before doing so, I walked out into the hallway in nothing but sweatpants and socks to return my food tray and items. As I turned around, I caught Natalia leaving her room, too. She looked me up and down then proceeded to walk past me and return her own items at the table at the end of the hall just as I was about to.

Walking back to my own room, I looked back once to catch her looking at me again. I closed my door behind me and got on my bed to relax until the main hallway lights shut off at 23:00 just as they do every night automatically.

My little bedside lamp was on and provided just enough light for me to write in my diary before falling inevitably asleep, and that was pretty much my last task for today, so that's what I did.

Yet, just as I slipped my diary under my pillow- the door slid open. I caught the clock quickly in my eye as I turned to see who it was, the clock read 23:07.

The door closed anew, leaving the cold, dark hallway outside to remain empty as it always was at this hour.

"Natalia," I greeted her, groggily.

"Nice to see you too, James," she joked with me, approaching slowly. "How enthusiastic of a greeting, truly."

I smiled at her. "I'm sorry, I'm just exhausted right now. I can't imagine how you must feel after all that training nonstop this morning, especially because you lasted the longest out of everyone in your age-class."

"I took a short nap afterwards, so I'm feeling pretty not-tired at the moment," she pointed out.

"Well, I was in meetings after the training," I told her. "I didn't get the luxury of relaxing after a long day, I guess."

"Hmm," she hummed. "I suppose that's why you're in bed so early."

"Indeed, it is."

She flashed her big eyes at me with an indescribable look upon her face. "Mind if I join you?"

I hesitated. "I- as much as I'd love that, I don't know how good of an idea it is."

"Why not?" she crept closer, her shins now touching the edge of the far end of the bed.

"It's just," I paused. "I don't think I'd be able to control myself."

She bit her lip. "That's a side of you I'm intrigued to see... maybe I don't want you to hold back."

I closed my eyes at the simple thought of it. "Natalia, it's against the rules. Not to mentioned the fact that you're so much younger than me."

"You know," she crossed her arms, "you've already said as much. And the more you bring those ideas up, the more they seem like excuses."