Bucky's Diary

December 31, 2024

Wildfire – Egzod (ft. Sarah de Warren)
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Dear Diary,

So, I don't know who decided that Steve and I were hosting New Years Eve, but it's New Years Eve and everyone's here so I guess that's what's happening. I was content with just spending it alone, us two, but I guess it's more fun with more people. That's at least what everyone's telling me. 

The only thing running through my head is the fact that I haven't celebrated New Years Eve since... well, since the 1940s. That seems crazy to even think, seeing as I've lived through so many decades in my life. 

Oh well, here's to starting up old traditions again, right? 

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They'd been there since 21:00 and I've been drinking since about 21:02. I don't know what it is about this setting that makes me seriously hate everything, but I think it's the cramped space... the fact that we're celebrating 2025 coming up in an apartment filled with furniture from the 1920s. It just makes me want to get drunk and escape it all. 

Especially because Natalia is here and I haven't said a word to her since that one night in Moscow nearly twenty years ago. 

Fuck, I'd rather wander the streets in my boxers right now than deal with this. 

Either way, I dealt with it and mingled with people like I was expected to do. In the end, I had a pretty fun night, and faking it ended up making it actually memorable. I noted to myself that I should probably try that more often. 

I was standing in the kitchen next to the fridge, pouring myself an entire glass of vodka, not like anyone would know that it wasn't water, right? As I took a sip, I headed into my and Steve's bedroom to escape the noise for a few minutes, and to enjoy my 192-proof in peace, leaving the door open only a crack. 

Seconds after I sat down at the edge of the bed, the room filled with light and I saw a figure walk into the room, closing the door behind and siting next to me at the foot of the bed. A wind of floral perfume hit me, but I wasn't sure who it was just yet. 

"Feel familiar?" Her voice met my ears, I didn't want to process who the voice belonged to just yet. 

"To what?" I answered, indifferent to whatever conversation she was trying to start with me. 

"Those nights back in Moscow when I would creep into your room after everyone was already asleep," she reminded me. It was then I was certain it was Natalia next to whom I was seated. 

"Real familiar," I replied sourly. "Only difference is, not only are we not having sex, but you're also not going to fuck me over again."

"Wh-"

I chuckled. "Before you say but, цветок (flower), remember that you went on a mission to Budapest and left me for that guy."

"I know I did," she sounded off, but aware. "I wanted to come in here and apologize to you about it, because I really didn't mean for everything to end the way it did. I planned on talking to you the next day, or later that night... but when I walked into your room to do so, you were gone. Anya never had the chance to ask me where you went because I fled with Clint that same hour. We headed to America, to S.H.I.E.L.D., and I never thought I'd see you again. Then you came in like gangbusters and tried to kill Captain America. Steve knows that I knew you once, but only as the Winter Soldier... I figured that he was your best friend and you'd probably like to tell him about our romance, if you wanted to, and if you haven't already."