Bucky's Diary

July 1, 2002

Champion – Neoni & burnboy
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Dear Diary,

I've been here for about three months now and it's finally starting to feel like home, at least in sone respects.

Sure, I didn't know anyone when I got here and I'm still getting to know people more and more everyday, but I feel like for the first time in my life, I'm really connecting. Perhaps this is as a result of HYDRA's brainwashing finally dissipating, but everything is starting to fit and make sense around me.

I've made some real friendships with some of the Widows, as well as with some of the other staff members and, unlike during The Wolf Spider Ops Program, this feels like something long term. It feels like I belong here and that I'm going to be here with my 'new family' for a while.

At least I hope so, because all this back and forth has been killing me, making me feel like I really don't belong anywhere and that I've always been meant for solitude. All those thoughts, though, they're going away for the first time in forever and, hell, it's liberating.

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We had been training since dawn, taking only fifteen minutes at meal times and each getting two three-minute bathroom breaks throughout the day.

It's been hard work, training these Widows, as many of their strengths are comparable to my own, thought I'd never admit to them that they're nearly as strong as I am.

That line up that I met on the first day was always in the same order. I don't know what it represents, perhaps chronological order of adoption, birth month, amount of training... but it's always that order, nothing different.

So today, just like every other day, was started at the beginning of the lineup with Anastasiya Sokolova, proceeding through the rest of them in order. Rather, there is only ever an order when we are doing one-on-one training, which I suppose happens often but not too often.

Most of the time, the Widows are pitted against one another rather than against myself. I remain there only to mediate and to teach them small details to help them improve.

Today, however, I decided that working one-on-one with these women and allowing them to fight someone similar in size and experience to what they'd actually face on a mission - someone such as myself - was their best bet in terms of getting the most out of today's lesson.

Irina Preobrazhensky, the ninth of ten, was up next, as I had just finished with Nikita Yahontova a few moments ago. It was nearly dinner time, but Anya told me I wasn't allowed to release any of the women until they had all finished. I knew we'd go a little over, but I guess they'd just have to get over it.

The other Widows who weren't fighting were required to sit on the bench at the side of the room and watch so that they could gain more knowledge and also ask questions afterwards if they needed to do so. I suppose this was a well thought out idea on Anya's part, but it was already far past dusk and we were stuck working still, and that's more than twelve hours together today.

Fighting each girl lasted only a few minutes, it was the discussion afterwards that usually took upwards of an hour to get through. Luckily, we all wanted to simply eat and go to sleep, so, without telling Anya, we planned on skipping the discussions on the last two girls' performances.

Irina walked up to me and made eye contact, bumping fists with me, making me realize that she was ready to start our fight.

"I will fight Irina in the coming minutes," I announced to the room as I had for everyone else before her. "Please, Widows, take your seats and watch as we proceed through number nine of ten."