Bucky's Diary

July 25, 2005

Devil Inside – CRMNL
—————•—————

Dear Diary,

These past few months have been quiet. I mean that in the best way possible.

Training and practice and discipline during the day and then it's just Natalia and I all night, in either my bed or her's. I mean, really, we've been fucking at least three or four times a week now and it's honestly just become a part of our daily routines.

Getting a little bit less sleep is absolutely worth it.

----------

"Storage room, five minutes," Natalia whispered as she walked past me in the middle of the day.

We had just finished lunch and there were about ten minutes left in the given lunch period, so most people usually spent this time in the cafeteria with fellow potential Widows or alone in their rooms. I guess she had something else in mind.

I walked in, unseen, and looked around for her in the dark. Suddenly, her arms grabbed me and pulled me deep among the storage bins and filing cabinets, engulfing us entirely in the shadows.

"Natalia?" I verified it was her.

When she said nothing, her lips met mine allowing me to taste her and immediately know it was her. I grabbed her ass and pulled her against my body as my back hit the brick wall behind me.

"Mmm, James-"

"Shh, stop talking," I kissed her lips again, our tongues meeting somewhere in the middle.

"Mmm," she pulled back again, making me want her even more. "James, really, as much as I'd love to keep going, I actually have something really important to talk about with you."

I dragged my fingers across her stomach and groaned quietly, playfully joking around. "Alright, alright," I whispered back. "What's going on?"

"It's... well," she paused.

"C'mon 'Talia, any day now," I chuckled and she joined me.

"It's the KGB," she admitted after a short silence.

"The KGB was dissolved in 1991, what do you mean?" I wondered.

She huffed out some air. "Officially dissolved, yes, but there still exist some officials in the Russian government who go by KGB rules and means in order to get what they want- all of these means being extremely violent."

"Are they threatening you?" I questioned.

"I- well, not exactly-"

"Natalia, tell me," I heard my voice coming from my lips sounding so serious.

"That mission I was on two months ago, I got a little tied up with them and they let me slide under two conditions," she explained.

"Being?"

"That I marry the man of their choosing and that I don't tell anyone," she revealed.

"Well, you already broke the second rule, why can't you break the first?" I wondered.

"They don't work like that, it's not just one person who'd come after me, James," she sounded concerned. "They'd send hundreds of men to kill me if I don't do it, and there's no way I'd make it out of that alive."

"Like hell if I have anything to say about it," I answered. "When is this?"

"They said by the end of the year," she informed me. "What're you trying to do? I can tell you're trying to figure something out in your head."

"Wouldn't you like to know," I chuckled.

"James, you can't do anything about this, really, it's too high above anything you'd be able to intervene with and fix," she tried to convince me.

"You doubt me, Natalia," my metal fingers brushed against her jaw. "I'm The Winter Soldier, my reputation precedes me. Anyone who's heard of me knows I'm a ghost, and I've said it before so I'll say it again, phantoms can't be killed."

I heard her voice falter as if she was going to say something but changed her mind.

"So, I'll ask you only one thing, darling," I paused. "What's his name?"

----------

She doubts me, or perhaps she simply wishes to protect me.

Either way, I'm in no need of saving.

~ James