our every moment, i start to replay
it was cold. cold to the point where everyone felt numb. a few more then others. but what was the numbing cold when you were already numb to begin with?
this is what was running through marks mind as he stood at the entrance of the large familiar house. it no longer had a lively feel to it, instead it felt grey and grim.
some of the people he had known from mafia business had passed him, greeting him with sad smiles and walking into the house but he just could bring himself to walk any further then he already had.
he felt like he'd throw up. bile in the form every emotion he had felt since that day.
that day...
since that day nothing has been the same. the bases weren't as lively anymore, the groups didn't interact as much. some had completely cut themselves off from others.
that some of people being mark yeonjun and lola.
"it's not marks fault."
if it wasn't his fault then why was he standing in front of her parents house, perfectly alive? if it wasn't his fault, then why was he alive when she wasn't? if he had just shut the hell up and realized that she was going through a rough patch, none of this would've happened.
and now she was gone and there was nothing he could do about it. absolutely nothing.
"m-mark hyung." the boy averted his eyes from the building slowly, turning to see jisung and chenle standing together, jisungs hand tight in chenles as they watched the older boy with worried expressions.
"you're not going in?" chenle spoke in a cautious way, gazing into marks empty brown eyes. the boy had dyed his hair back to black, seeing no reason for it to be an actual color anymore.
"ah.... you two go first." he spoke quietly, surprising himself when he was actually able to speak in a stable tone. they nodded, jisung giving the male a sympathetic look before following chenle inside.
mark was about to go back to spacing out but a hand on his shoulder pulled him out of it before he could do so.
"i know it's hard... but maybe if we go together it'll be easier?" to his left was seungmin who looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. to his right was lola who had also dyed her whole head of hair back to black, just as mark had done.
it took mark a while to actually be able to form any kinds of words, the boy trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "yeah." was all he could let out, nodding before following the two siblings into the tall house.
🧨
somehow mark found himself upstairs, away from everyone else downstairs. he just found it too... depressing. he didn't want to be sad. he wanted freya to be right by his side, walking with him to her room so they could watch some kind of dumb american movie.