The Queen of Fire

CH. 17

"Love is fire. But whether it's gonna warm your heart or burn your house down you can never tell" - Jason Jordan

Sienna Bianchi

Never before had I spent more than three hours getting ready for anything. An hour of two give or take was the baseline of time I typically spent dolling up before getting bored out of my fucking mind. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't in charge of this makeover. Kylie and Lina had taken full control of the situation.

In the beginning stages of our collective efforts, I didn't mind their directions or arguments about what to wear. Hitting the hour mark, that leniency quickly vanished. I kept my mouth shut and endured another hour out of the pure goodness of my heart, but at hour three my body simply refused to stay seated.

"Let's wrap this up before she kills us" Kylie finally concluded, earning a relieved sigh from me. Chuckling at my tired state of mind, Lina straightened a last strand of my naturally wavy hair before calling it a day. Sliding into the dress they picked out for me to wear, I was finally allowed to look at the finished results of their hard work.

Wearing a stunning red dress fitted to perfection around my curves, I looked ready for a fucking red carpet. With thin spaghetti-straps, a generous cleavage and a tight fit that fell slightly from my knees, my appearance was divine. Kylie and Lina had truly outdone themselves. Gawking at myself in the mirror, a sense of unease and guilt embraced me. How could I enjoy these small pleasures when my family's killer roamed the world free as a bird?

These pesky emotional surges had hit me more frequently than usual the longer I stayed here. Clawing at their enclosure at all hours in the day, they wore down on the walls I'd come to rely on to function. Having them burst now would turn catastrophic.

Lina must have noticed my inner turmoil and sent Kylie to notify Giovanni about our small delay. More like an hour delay, but who's keeping count. Allowing me some time to dissect the sudden rush of emotions wrecking through me, she stayed silent and waited for me to voice my concern. I didn't plan on opening up about this specific issue but my mouth had other plans.

"I don't think I can do this, Lina" The words slipped from my lips with little to no restraint as my mind was still reeling in confusion. Why did these emotions erupt now and how did I stop them? I'd gone such a long time having to deal without them.

"You think you're letting your family down by having a day for yourself?" Lina gently asked, somehow managing to set words to my turmoil in one simple sentence. She couldn't have been more right.

It seemed wrong of me to prance around on dates and taking time doing anything other than hunting Federico down for the deaths he caused by any means necessary. Although him being directly responsible for their demise, I'd been the indirect factor pushing him over the ledge. Killing Marty ultimately killed my own blood-relatives. The one time I didn't think of all the consequences, the one time disaster struck. Hell, even Giovanni warned me about that.

"Something like that" I defeatedly muttered, sinking further down on the chair I'd spent the last three hours on.

"Sienna, dear. They wouldn't have wanted you to dedicate your entire life to Federico. You might not believe me right now, but they knew the dangers of leading this life. The persistence you've shown through all this have made them more than proud of you. A day to yourself is well deserved. Tell me. How many days have you given yourself a break?"

Lina's words had moisture building up in the corners of my eyes. Sometimes I forgot that she knew them as well. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to look up at her. The admiration shining in her eyes caught me off guard, allowing an uncontrolled tear to trail down my cheek.