Between Shades of Gray

XXI

"Calm down, Lisa. Breathe in. Breathe out." I told myself. I was fidgeting inside my room, and to be honest, I am really afraid to leave my room right now.

DAMN IT!

I stop fidgeting when images of me kissing Jennie flashes again inside my mind. Oh God!!! I cover my face with my hands. I'm so embarrassed with myself!

But I should be glad that I had the chance to kiss her again, right? (even if it's just only a drunken kiss)
But now I don't know how to react. It became my unreachable dream to kiss her like that but now that I've experienced it, I can't get it off my mind.

Of course, you can't get it off your mind, Lisa. You are hopelessly in love with your best friend!

Ugh! DAMN!

Then I heard Jennie's room door opens.

Oh god! She is awake! What now?

How much of last night did she remember? What will her reaction be? Will it be awkward between us? Ugh! So many questions that I desperately need an answer right now!

Stop being a coward, idiot! Either way, you have to face her at some point!

"Okay! I can do it. I just have to act normal. As in normal-normal." I told myself.

So I walk out of my room, with my heart beating rapidly against my chest. I know I can do this!

I saw a glimpse of Jennie's back while she prepares her coffee. I swallow a lump in my throat. This is going to be easy. I can do this. Then, I was about to say something when she turns around.

"Oh!" She looks shock to see me.

"Hi. Uhm... Good morning." She said then lowers her head, refusing to look at me.

Oh ohhh! Awkward.

"Good morning." I said softly in return as I scratch the back of my neck.

And then another awkward silence.

After a few seconds, I open my mouth,

"Jen~"

"Would~" she said at the same time I spoke.

God, this is really awkward.

"I'm sorry, you first?"

"Uhm... would you like to have some coffee?" she said with an awkward smile, offering her cup to me.

"O-Okay." I replied. I walk towards her. I think she is trying to be normal, well atleast for me, I think she was. So I should try to act normal too.

I reach out for her mug and our hands barely brush with each other. I silently gasp because the contact is electrifying.

"Oh sorry." I apologize not knowing what I am apologizing for.

"It's fine." She clears her throat then she puts down her mug on the counter probably avoiding our contact with each other. I don't know why but I felt hurt. She didn't want to touch me?