MEETING WITH MAHASHAKTI

The Mysterious Old Woman

When my mother and brother decided to take me to Balasore,I didn't know what to do. A buxom woman decked with flowers and ornaments appeared to me. Her smile was a million dollar one.I said to her,"Who are you?Why have you come here?" She began laughing and her laughter hooked me.Then she got ready to take me into her arms.My prolonged continence was lost and I cried bitterly."Can't you recognise me?I was your beloved and sweetheart in your previous birth. Mother Kali has sent me to entertain you.Come into my arms;I have been waiting for you for ages.My brother standing beside me couldn't comprehend anything and was sure I was losing my mind.He thought I was talking to myself like a madman.

Just when I was inching towards her,I received a powerful invisible slap and my cheek started burning from its impact.A voice from inside me said,"She is a cheat..There are thousands of evil spirits like her.They are bent on diverting you from the path of virtue.Don't listen to anyone
except me.."

"How can I believe you then?"

"Don't bother II'l take care of that."

"Who are you then?Tell me. I want to know you?"

"I am the same mother of yours whose milk you sucked when you were four years old.Forgot me completely?"

Tears came rushing from my eyes.My brother was looking on dumbstruck. I recalled what had happened in my childhood.It was something that my mother and her friends would talk about every now and then.They stopped doing so when I grew up and denied the existence of God.Another thing that had stopped them discussing me was my terrible performance at school.Right from the beginning I remained a backbencher till class 8.Not a single thing any teacher taught entered into my mind.They had written me off as a hopeless case.I was also fully convinced that education was not my cup of tea.I strongly disliked the word 'school' and everyday wished my teachers were dead soon.

The madwoman who had visited us in my childhood had gifted me a pen.Since she had made some predictions that had come true my mother and her friends thought I was going to be an exceptionally talented student.Contrary to this firm belief of theirs,I had turned out to be the dullest of students at school and had to drop out in class 8.The madwoman as they called her was therefore not to be taken seriously.

My younger brother Param and I boarded a Balasore-bound bus.There were a lot  of people in the bus. We occupied back seats and that was very fortunate.Now a yogi appeared to me. He began lecturing about the blissful life of a yogi. I felt like cutting the yogi's neck with a saw.I abused him with the filthiest possible Odia words.I just wanted to pluck out his eyes and rattle his teeth.I hurled dirty words at him but he returned them with charming smiles.Only when I reached Balasore,the yogi said to me sternly:"I am the only one to decide the course of your life and help you reach your goal."

"You rascal go to hell with your soft-spoken words. I don't want to be a sanyasi like you. I will find out a good job and marry a most beautiful girl and be a family man.What does sanyasa give you? Except the absence of the fear of death it gives you nothing but endless physical and mental torture."

I had only filthy harsh words for ascetics and sanyasis.I considered them to be heartless disturbers of peace.A worldly life was a thousand times better than a spiritual life.

After I had reached Balasore,my sister,her husband and her children were deeply concerned and were sure I was going to go mad.Someone suggested a visit to a Bengali old lady known for her psychic experiences and the ability to see the future.My nephew Raju and I visited the old lady in the evening.She had just finished her worship of Goddess Durga. Her room was a wonderful one because all my mental suffering ceased right the moment I reached there...!I experienced profound peace in her sacred presence.She asked my nephew to leave the room.Then she narrated my entire life history in every detail.I was so ecstatic that I  touched her feet again and again.She was a thin fair-skinned petite old lady.Her informality and cordial behaviour was so captivating that I longed to stay with her forever! After telling me my past,she predicted my future.She had mentioned to me the names of all the gods and goddesses that used to come to me.What puzzled me was she knew what each deity had told me.She blessed me most generously putting her hand on my head.

When I came out and narrated my experience with her to my own people there,they had a hearty laugh of disbelief and derision. I was helpless and sad to hear some boys making slighting comments on her activities.She was not at all a well-respected or famous person.

I had told her that I would like to meet her again. She had emphatically told me that such a meeting could not at all be possible.Now nobody believed me and whatever I said caused a lot of  laughter.So I decided to keep my experiences to myself.Everyone was vigilant about my activities which were out of the way.

I always preferred to stay alone.Non-stop talking was going on inside me between a voice deep within me and myself.The mysterious old lady had told me that even I was destined to marry a very capable woman and we would have one child.Asked about my spiritual life,she told me that a very very long time had to pass before I took to spirituality. She had also told me about my late marriage.

"A son or daughter? " I asked her nonchalantly.

"Obviously a daughter.." she said.

"Why?" I asked.

"You know it better.." she said with a chuckle.

I thought since I was dedicated to Mother Kali,She would surely like to give me a daughter.

When my wife entered the labour room in a private hospital in the city,I was sure I was going to have a daughter.Except me,all our near and dear ones were optimistic about a boy.Yet I wondered a little whether the Bengali old lady's prediction about my child was actually going to be true.It was not at all to be doubted since I had got married late at the age of thirty seven.

After coming back to my sister's house,I would lie on bed for hours and contemplate a big photo of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa along with Swami Vivekananda,the Holy Mother and Mother Kali behind them.I would earnestly pray to Ramakrishna Paramahamsa to bless me so that I might enjoy pure divine bliss.It appeared as if the great master was smiling at me.I chanted some joyful lines of a prayer to  Ramakrishna in the hope that the master might appear to me.