MEETING WITH MAHASHAKTI

The Story of Rupees 100

Now when I thought Shiva and Kali were the most evil deities and condemned them strongly silently,I got an offer from an English professor named Dr.Sadananda Misra to make a visit to Kathmandu in Nepal.Dr. Misra had read my stories and had expressed a very high opinion of them.He had assured me that my writings did have the potential to be published.
Dr.Misra belonged to my village. He told me to arrange twenty-five thousand rupees so that I might accompany him to Europe.At Kathmandu,a conference was to be held on Buddhism and World Peace.As it was  an international conference,delegates from foreign countries had come to attend the conference. At the time I was completely penniless.Instead of doing anything to earn an income I stayed busy day and night writing novels,short stories and poems in the hope that I might get a breakthrough anytime.Dr.Misra told me he had friends abroad who could help me get my books published. So I again turned to Mother Kali for help. I prayed to Kali Ma to help me sell a book of mine for twenty-five thousand rupees.
I had anger for Mother Kali at the bottom of my heart,yet I cried at night and prayed to her to give me money.

We ate our dinner. I fell asleep early that night. Towards the close of the night,a dark-skinned woman came to me in a dream.She stretched out her hand to give me something. I held out my hand eagerly. She dropped a 25 paise coin on my cupped hands and went back. I got up and was furious. "What ?..Am I a beggar ?You have given me such a paltry sum ?" It was a matter of deep shame. I kept it to myself. Later I said:"Mother you treated me like a beggar? I thought I was your child? Okay I will give you 100 rupees. You exist in each and every soul. I will give a sum of one hundred rupees to you.

I thought  I would go to Vivekananda Marg the next day and donate a hundred rupee note to a Ramakrishna Mission sanyasi.Someone told me they smoked ganja(cannabis).I kept quiet. I decided to visit Kali Ghat in Kolkata on my way to Nepal and give a hundred rupee note to a very needy person.This thought remained active in my mind.Again after some four years the old experiences were going to be repeated. I could see thousands and thousands images of Mother Kali encircling me with intense glee and laughter. I thought another phase of terrible suffering was in the offing.Mother Kali was hurrying me like anything. I was amazed at her impatience. I said,"Mother,the train is at 11:30 in the night. Why are you hurrying me up ?"

She hurried me as restlessly as I could be;I refused to listen to her as firmly as I could.

We hired an auto and proceeded to the railway station. My younger brother Param was with me. I had not told him anything about Mother Kali. The moment we reached the station,we were told that the express train that we had booked had left just five minutes ago!The actual train timing was 11:00 and not 11:30.Now I realised my stupidity and begged pardon to Mother Kali with eyes brimming over with tears.Then I was struck with sadness. I was automatically drawn towards the ticket counter. I produced a piece of Xerox paper  showing that I had bought the ticket for Birganj,the small border town between India and Nepal.

The man at the ticket counter told me with emphasis,I could travel to Kolkata by another train arriving in half an hour.
Mother Kali seemed to be normal and happy.I  would look at her and cry bitterly.Then I diverted my mind to other topics. My brother and I were chatting standing on platform No:1.After some time I had a brief meeting with Amiya, my friend at University. I enquired about my other classmates. He told me that Kalyani had got a fellowship and had done her Phd from Stockholm University. Almost all of them were employed as lecturers except me. I was working as Programme Officer of a voluntary organisation called INSERURP but my heart was fixed on writing and getting published.It was 2001 and I was still unmarried.The train arrived and I got on it desperately.The compartment was dark and all the passengers were asleep. After a minute's search,I found a seat and occupied it.I sat there for some time and then climbed up onto a berth and there I lay awake.My purpose was not to fall asleep but to hold a conversation with Mother Kali...It might appear funny and unreal to you my dear reader but I can never erase those conversations. They were real because even the wisest of your professors can't answer those questions that I asked her. She would not answer them sometimes. It was around midnight I had done a lot of chatting. But I won't discuss any of its portions because you can't help laughing at me.She urged me again and again to exercise my mind and find out answers to my own questions.The question of the night was:"Why was ego not liked by the gods and the goddesses?"

Was it possible to get an answer to this question? An answer that would be most logical and unquestionably balanced. I could see a shadowy figure of Mother Kali. I said,"Mother,tell me why the ego is bad." I saw Mother Kali was smiling. Then I heard from inside,"Try and get the answer on your own. You can get answers to all your questions. I bless you Son."

She vanished leaving me abundantly tearful.My sobs were so loud that a passenger sat up on his berth and looked at me confusedly. Thank God nobody asked me anything. I lay on my berth and exercised my mind. In a short while, the answer came.It was as follows:

I found that every human being is an incarnation of the ego.A factory owner thinks he has supreme control over his factory.The chairman of a school or its Principal thinks that the school is under his leadership. The chief minister of a state thinks that he is the lord of his state. The President or Prime Minister of considers that the whole country is his sphere of influence. The world famous celebrities look upon the world as their sphere of influence. But does God have any such sphere of influence?God has no boundaries. He is infinite.When His child joins  Him,he also becomes Him.In this particular case,His child has completely renounced the ego and has no boundaries or any sphere of influence.The finite can't match the infinite.Hence, man must give up his ego.

Many more questions came to my mind. I was overwhelmed with joy thinking of Mother Kali. When I reached the Howrah Railway Station,it was around 1:30 pm and the sun was beating cruelly everywhere and somehow I reached the Hall upstairs where the other delegates were getting ready to leave for Birganj.We had to catch another train to Birganj at 4:30 in the afternoon. I was searching for an opportunity to request Dr.Misra for a visit to Kali Ghat.When he was in a happy mood,I approached him and reminded him of his assurance to go to Kali Ghat with me.He turned down the request on the pretext that there were eighteen delegates who were mostly elderly people. It was going to be very difficult to handle them. He promised that we would go to Kali Ghat on our way back home.I was profoundly disappointed.I thought Mother didn't like my ego and the challenge I had thrown her.

In the afternoon we boarded our train to Birganj. We reached Birganj the next day and quiet late. The only mode of transport to enter Nepal was the horse cart.People with their horse carts surrounded us and started pestering us to travel in their horse carts.I vaguely recollected that Nepal was the land of Lord Shiva.But my joy became intense and  multiplied when I sighted the large arched Gate through which we had to enter Nepal. On both sides of the huge gate were statues of Lord Shiva and Lord Buddha.Atop the arch was a very long and colossal trident.I forgot all my suffering.I have told you Shiva appeared to me many times but never spoke a single word to me but Mother Kali was there.It seemed she loved to travel with me.I could locate her wherever I looked.I was profoundly touched.But I was cross why she didn't accept my one hundred rupees. I was vastly delighted with Lord Shiva.In spite of giving me suffering and pain, the Lord took me to His own country. The Pashupatinath Temple is located in Nepal.