MEETING WITH MAHASHAKTI

Baba's Strict Warning

One night I had a very strange dream. I saw Sai Baba holding a load wrapped in a white cloth.There was also a neem tree with a hollow in which an earthen lamp was lighted. I looked at Baba but couldn't figure out anything. What was the meaning of the dream? I didn't tell anyone anything. It was Thursday night. On Saturday evening I fell off my motorcycle and broke my left hand wrist.I didn't collide with anyone.When I was absent-minded,the front tyre touched a very narrow divider and I fell to the ground with my left hand wrist under the motorcycle handle.

Two or three people came running to me.A gentleman named Alok Sharma who became a close friend later,lifted the motorcycle from the ground and parked it on the roadside.He was holding my wrist tightly. My wife,nephew and younger brother reached the spot.We went to Capital Hospital and had my wrist x-rayed.It was confirmed that the wrist was cracked.The doctor who examined the cracked wrist told me to meet him at a clinic in the city with twenty-five thousand rupees the next morning. I did have money in the bank but I smelled something foul in the doctor's advice.I reached home and called my brother-in-law Girish Chandra Mishra and discussed the problem. He told me to go to a place at Dhenkanal called Rekula.I reached Dhenkanal and with the help of a relative of mine reached Rekula.

At Rekula I saw a number of patients like me, people who had had their hands and legs fractured.There were new and old cases.The man who gave treatment had some three or four assistants. One or two of them would hold the patient and another would straighten the hand or leg by pulling it hard.Then the commanding doctor would set strips of bamboo round the limb and secure them tightly with a gauze cloth.Prior to that they would also apply some oil over the affected part.When they would straighten an injured limb,the patient uttered piercing cries of extreme pain.But I could never feel the slightest pain.Right from the beginning of the accident,everyone enquired if I was experiencing great pain. My answer would be:"No pain.Nothing at all."
A cracked wrist was sure to cause great pain. But I didn't feel any pain at all. They stopped asking me questions. But my astonishment was great.I talked to my elder brother Niranjan Dash who told me that now the meaning of the dream I had of Baba holding a load was clear. Sai had taken my pain beforehand.Those days I used to think of Baba every moment;I would think of Guruji every moment.

My wife had been a sort of spiritual adviser to me right from the beginning. She had come to my house with a rosary and would count them every morning and evening. Once she found me treating the rosary with some disrespect. She was badly hurt and didn't talk to me for a day. I didn't like her pious words and behaviour. I would think she had better go to Vrindavan than getting married to me and take pride in her religious life. At last,I got used to it. Once she had given me a good scolding for my behaviour that was out of the way.In return,I had become cross with Baba.

That night I had a strange dream. I saw Baba standing with his back turned towards me.Someone went close to him and touched his heels from behind and ran away. Then wanting to touch Baba's sacred feet and place my forehead on them,I went close to him. Baba turned towards me and said crossly:"Why are you coming to place your head on my feet when you are mad after worldly pleasures? " Then I woke up. I felt so terribly ashamed that I couldn't broach this to anyone,not even to my wife. Years ago I had an argument with Lord Ramakrishna over this. He had advised me to live a pure and spiritual life; I had condemned his suggestion and had expressed an exuberant desire to marry a charming woman and start a family life. I had hurled defiance at him and Mother Kali who was beside him. I hated them intensely then.I had suffered like a dog and they had stood witness to my affliction and misery without the least concern or sympathy. Later I realised the importance of suffering and the essence of Swami Vivekananda's assertion that the gate to heaven was through hell.

Humanity will call me a liar if I say I had a talk with Swami Vivekananda who told me that every seeker after truth had to suffer like me before realising the Absolute.
Humanity will laugh and ridicule me if say Swami Vivekananda is as much present today as he was when in his physical frame. Many fools and ignoramuses have written books on Ramakrishna and Vivekananda and it is only other fools and ignoramuses who waste their valuable time reading them.I once got interested in what Arun Shourie had written about Ramakrishna but then I realised that Arun Shourie didn't have even have one percent of the qualification required to write on sage Ramakrishna. I also have a very low opinions of doctors in this context. A doctor says a man will die if he remains awake for two or three days.I myself have stayed awake for more than a month but I am still alive.Once I narrated the incident of my cracked wrist to a doctor and asked why I never felt any pain.He told me that my endurance capacity was extraordinary.

I was convinced that Ramakrishna came to me in a dream in the guise of Sai and warned me to be cautious and not to lose brahmacharya(continence).My suspicion about the nature of Baba's relationship with women who surrounded him got removed and I was filled with guilt and remorse.I also suspected Guruji in the matter of his association with women. I was trying my best to discover the truth.I evolved spiritually and reached the stage that made me feel how badly mistaken I was.When I looked at my wife I felt she was already present in me.When I looked at my enemies,I also felt that they were already present in me.For sexuality,anger,hatred or selfish love to happen,there must be a sense of dualism in you. As long as this dualism existed in me,I used to feel the presence of all kinds of human weaknesses in me.Since Guruji has no dualism in him,he has no human frailties in him. Now when I think of my elder brother, my thoughts don't escape out of me and run to Bhawanipatna where he lives.I have beside my family members and relatives,a large number of students,friends and acquaintances and when I think of any of them, my thoughts don't go out because each of them is already present in me. When you have no sense of dualism in you,the impact of common weaknesses on you is absolutely nil.Now think of the sadhus like Asharam Bapu or Ram Rahim and why they were deviated from the right path. My answer to the question is simple. Before you attain the state of non-dualism,you mustn't leave your family and the company of your wife. Only when you have secured release from the clutches of Mother Nature are you in no danger of deviating from the path of virtue and piety.Shraddha and Saburi,Sri Sai's most powerful slogan,plays a very crucial role in this process.No one can be able to observe brahmacharya(continence),without Nature's permission.And just imagine what would be the condition of the innocent and ignorant man who is trying to rise spiritually against the irresistibly strong sexuality waves from Nature.Nature will never allow you to say no to sex unless you have placed yourself at her mercy and taken refuge in her.Freedom from Nature means attainment of non-dualism.
Worship Mother Kali and she alone can give you freedom from the clutches of base natural urges.If you worship the holy Mother,be hundred percent assured of freedom from the clutches of the senses.