Birdie (Levi x OC)

eight

Chapter 8

The Commander and Eren weren't required to go to the capital for a few days. Therefore, the day after the 57th expedition was a day where I would be able to sleep in and hopefully recover somewhat from my fatigue. I was exhausted; emotionally, mentally, and physically. I hadn't slept properly since joining the Scouts, so I was glad that I would finally be allowed to sleep in and rest my body.

Once back in my small, but comfortable room, my grandfather kissed my cheek and said goodnight.

"I'm proud of you," he said before quietly closing the door behind me.

Proud of me.

I wasn't proud of myself. I was disappointed and angry at the day's events. I was ignorant when it came to expeditions and hadn't prepared myself for witnessing the deaths of so many.

I changed and washed up. Keen on ridding myself of the day's dirt and the smell of blood. I rolled up my sleeves and washed my hands in the water basin I had placed on my dresser since moving in. I felt dirty, causing me to scrub my hands vigorously. Losing myself for a moment, I scrubbed until my hands were raw and had turned red.

The smell of blood won't go away.

Tears began to prickle my eyes by the time I was finally satisfied with my hands and arms. I squeezed my eyes shut, not having the energy to cry. I would have to save my tears for a time I was less exhausted.

I washed my face. It was grimy and small bits of blood were still dried around my nostrils from when Mikasa elbowed me in the face. After I felt clean enough, I let my hair down from its low ponytail and began to brush through it. It was filthy. It was dusty and bits of dirt were matted to it in certain places. I brushed out the dirt and knots, and despite cleaning it the day before, I knew I would need to wash it soon.

Somewhat satisfied, I changed into an oversized long-sleeved shirt that acted as my nightie and crawled into bed.

I stared up at the ceiling, the light from my candlestick flickering of the walls, making shapes as it did so against the darkness. I let my thoughts wander briefly. I couldn't help but think about one individual in particular.

Captain Levi.

Not only had he lost his entire squad today, but he had injured himself. I grimaced when I thought back to the way his face winced in pain when he landed poorly on his foot. He probably wouldn't be fighting titans anytime soon. What was he thinking about right now? His injury? Eren? His comrades?

I felt for him. I couldn't begin to imagine what I would feel like if I had lost my own squad, and I hadn't even known them as long as Captain Levi knew his. Would he cry now that he was alone?

I scoffed out loud at my ridiculous thought. I doubted Captain Levi could cry, even if he wanted to.

Although he was rude, extremely intimidating, and had a foul mouth. I felt I wanted to understand him. What was the reasoning behind his cold-distant personality? I understood most of the people on my squad; their thoughts and feelings, and their reasonings for being a soldier. I had felt myself growing close to them over this past month.

But Captain Levi was different, I couldn't understand the man at all.

My mother always used to tell me that people were like riddles, some were just easier to solve than others.

I smiled fondly at the memory of my mother. Her name was Georgina, but most people around her called her George. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. It was no wonder my father had fallen for her. She had long blonde hair that she usually braided down her back, and these sharp green eyes that I wish I had been fortunate enough to inherit. Instead, my father's golden, brown eyes had been given to me.