Birdie (Levi x OC)

seventy-one

"Birdie! Angle left!" Levi snapped at me as I misjudged my landing, falling flat on my face, skidding across the grassy clearing.

The fall was agonizing. My brace acted like a fucking rock, refusing to bend, amplifying the impact when my face met the ground. A blinding white flash erupted behind my eyes, and the air whooshed completely out of my lungs as the impact jarred every joint.

"Shit!" I screamed into the empty forest, rolling onto my back. I tasted metallic as my nose began to spurt blood, gushing down my face and into my mouth. I spat crimson onto the ground, coughing and desperately trying to suck air back into my chest. My eyes were watering violently as the oxygen crashed back into my lungs and I rolled to my side. I wiped desperately at my nose in a feeble attempt to stop the flow.

Levi landed beside me with a soundless grace that hid the fury in his actions. His hard, cool fingers clamped onto my forearm, pulling me upright with swift force. He crouched beside me, taking my chin in his hand, tilting my head immediately upwards to manage the flow. He then gently prodded at the bridge of my nose, his gaze fiercely locked on my face, checking for instability.

"Not broken," he hissed, his voice tight with controlled anger and relief. He reached into his jacket pocket, producing a clean handkerchief. His fingers replaced mine, briefly caging the lower half of my face as he applied the linen, the pressure firm. He held it there for a long moment, forcing me to rely entirely on his touch before finally urging my hand to take over.

I grasped it, another cough escaping me as the blood trickled down the back of my throat.

He stood up, running a hand through his hair and paced a few feet away. "We're done, Birdie. It's been days of this, and you still aren't able to stick a landing. It's dangerous, and it's stupid."

"I just need more practice," I said through the nosebleed. "We knew it wasn't going to be easy."

Levi and I had been coming to the clearing in our spare time. He had been attempting to help me use the modified ODM gear, shielding me from my worst missteps and mistakes. My body was aching and sore, though, and every once in a while I took a tumble that he couldn't save me from.

"Birdie," he said, his voice serious and weary. "Maybe you just have to admit to yourself that you don't have the balance for it anymore. Nor do you have the muscle strength to keep yourself upright."

I narrowed my eyes at him from behind the handkerchief. "I don't have the privilege to think that way, Levi."

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You do because you have me." He said, the words kind but his tone was not. He sounded frustrated, angry even. "I can't keep watching you beat yourself up like this. It's not worth it."

"Just a few more days, please, Levi. We're still waiting to hear from Eren, so we have the time." I said, peeling the handkerchief away to look at the carnage. "Let me try to change the gear. Maybe I missed something that's preventing me from sticking the landing."

"And then what?" Levi said. "Even if you manage to use the ODM gear, it's going to do nothing but cause you pain. I already saw that your pressure sores and wounds are starting to come back. You're hurting even more than normal every time you put that harness on."

"I know that," I said, my voice shaky. "But at least I'll be able to get by, Levi. That's all I'm asking for, I just can't be a burden."

He stared at me, the last thread of patience snapping. "A burden?" he spat, the word laced with genuine injury. "You think I give a damn about that? You have never been a burden to me. I knew all of this when I chose to marry you."

"I married the soldier who never abandons his duty," I insisted, my voice gaining strength despite the throbbing in my face. "But if I force you to choose between saving me and saving yourself, you'll choose me, and that will kill us both."