life is a bitch or how death tore us apart and pulled us together

personal clown

I waited patiently in front of the kindergarten.
"Hello, I'm Nickolai, a friend of Hayley. I'm supposed to pick up the little ones today.", I explained smiling at the teachers.

First they looked sceptic, but when Annie started to smile, ran to me and hugged me screaming out: "Nickie, Nickie" and even the much more shy Ben came to hug me, the teachers smiled and waved the children off.

For the next two hours I became their personal clown. We built houses out of blankets and pillows, petted their plastic dinosaurs (they believed they were rabbits) and played hide and seek in the entire house.
 

I was surprised how small it was. Don't know why but I had expected something bigger, more fitting for such a crowded family.

Once i accidently slipped into Hayleys room. I knew for an instant that it was hers. The small desk covered completely with documents, homework and other papers, but it all had it's own kind of place.
it did not look messy, only crowded, maybe even overloaded, but organized.

Just like Hayley's life, I thought by myself. 

The bed was made, but in a typical Hayley rush, only perfect because it was routine.
The cloth all looked away in a small wardrobe, through books need in on row on the stands. A small chair at the window, a nightstand-like table beside it, occupied with two read out books.
That was Hayley's room. No, that was Hayley. 

Need and tidied, but in her on special way compfty and lovable.Sighing I closed the door again. I had to find two stupid little rabbit- caretakers who made fun of me by hiding in the creepiest places they could find.

After one more hour passing by while we were playing hide and seek,  Hayley came home.

Her eyes were red as if she had cried and the dark circles under them made me feel so sorry for her.

" Pneumonia. ", she barked out,  kicking off her boots into the hallway.

" They're keeping him over the night to control his vital signs.", she explained to nobody in particular.

I cleared my throat and made a step forward.

She looked at me with wide eyes. " Nick . ", she whispered and I saw how she straightened her back.

" You're still here. "

"We played hide and seek and fet the rabbits and built houses! ", Ben screamed happily and hugged my legs.

I nodded. " Yeah. We did. "

At this moment, she started to smile. It was a wide, open and for the glimpse of a second completely happy smile.

I hugged her and for the first time since forever she leaned into the touch and hugged me back.

" Can you tell us a fairytale? ", Annie asked me and we both started to laugh for no exact reason.

"Annie, Ben - I'm pretty sure Nickie liked playing with you, but he has to do his own homework and go home now. Say bye to him and then get your sweet asses up to the bathroom,  you're gonna have a shower. ", she announced and her siblings started wining.

" Why? ", Annie complained.

" Because you stink, sweetie. ", I said laughing at her shocked face.

Imidiatly she ran up the stairs, her brother chasing her like a shadow.

" Thanks. I normally need hours to convince them. " Hayley smiled her smile and turned to the stairs as well.

"You don't have to stay here. ", she said politely and I knew I was dismissed.

" Could I please drink something before driving home? ", I asked in the same polite way.

Ahe shrugged. " You know the way to the door, don't you? "

I nodded laughing and with one last look she ran up the stairs to the bathroom where her siblings were already fighting over something again.

Smiling quitly to myself I went into the kitchen.

What a crowded, messy family.