life is a bitch or how death tore us apart and pulled us together

why do you think this is easy for me?

Hayley's point of view

I slept terrible that night, but it was no wonder. My boss, Mister Brown did not care about what happened at home, he just wanted to see the documents I had to translate for him. If I could not come into his office to work, I should at least do me job at home and deliver the papers in time.

This and the fact that Chris had popped around had let to me staying awake till I could not read one word anymore. It was surely half past two when my head fall over and I fell asleep slammed over my table.

Of course I woke up to my nerve-racking alarm clock at half past five in the mornings.

Surprisingly my mother was home and she helped me get the kids ready.

Although she was extremely getting on my nerves with her all-time lasting self-reproach, I was relieved that she would stay home to look after Ian while I was in school.

School itself was long and boring.

More than once I tried to talk to Nick, but he seemed so cold and distanced that I let him be after the second reject. I really did not have the power to cope with that today.

After school I went to work, apologized for my missing and finished three more papers.

When I came home I found Ian sleeping on the couch, Annie and Ben already in bed and my mother cleaning the dishes in the kitchen.

"We left something for you!", she smiled proudly like she deserved an Oscar for it.

I opened the plastic box standing in the fridge and looked at my mother who stood at the sink, turning her back to me.

"You know that this is a lasagne with meat?", I asked her spine.

"Oh, sorry."

She did not even turn around.

I sighed. "Never mind. I'm not hungry."

"Is everything okay?", my mother asked, still cleaning the plates and not bothering that I was standing in the middle if the kitchen, ready to break down every minute.

"Yeah. Everything is fine.", I answered sarcastically.

"Well, great!", she smiled.

I sighed rolled my eyes and turned around.

Somehow I was getting angry, really angry.

I looked at the door handle and in a sudden affect I stormed out of the kitchen doing something I had not done in two years; I slammed the kitchen door close behind me and the sound echoed through the whole hallway. Somehow it felt great.

After two more hours of working and learning for the next exams and doing my homework, I closed my books with a slam and sighed heavily.

Suddenly my phone rang.

"Hey darling!", a soft voice said at the other side of the line.

I smiled. "Hey!"

"How are you?", Chris asked.

"Fine."

He laughed sarcastically. "What kind of fine?"

It had somehow become our ritual to ask this.

"The 'I'm saying I'm fine because that's what you want to hear' kind of fine.", I responded.

He sighed. "So bad?"

"Even worse."

And then it broke through. I started to talk and suddenly everything bursted out like a waterfall. I told him everything and he listened closely.

"You know what you need?", he asked after I had finished.

"No.", I sighed.

"Some time off.", he answered his own question.

"I can't!". I interjected. "They all need me."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. But what about one evening? Just take the Saturday night off and go dancing with me!", he propounded.

I knew exactly in with direction we were heading and I asked smirking: "Is this a date? Like a real one?"

He laughed. "You decide! I would really love to call you my date!"

I laughed. "I will be there. Maybe not as your girl, but as a companion."

"I take your word!", Chris said smiling and I nodded.

"Sure."

 I wasn't absolutely sure if going to a party was exactly what I needed, but it meant seeing different people, different places and just some time to enjoy myself.

"I'm going to sleep now!", I announced and I could hear Chris laugh.

"Sleep well, beauty!", he said softly and at his words some butterflies who I believed had long ago died came alive again.

"You too!", I responded.

"I love you", was his last whisper, then I heard the beep beep of the empty phone line.

I just sat at my bed, looking out of my window with a huge grin on my face.