life is a bitch or how death tore us apart and pulled us together

what a girl

I could not believe it!

She had a date!

A fucking date!

And it wasn't me walking by her side making her laugh.

I don't know why I followed her down the hallway and out of school.

When I saw him, I sighed deeply and turned around again.

There was nothing I could do. If she wanted a sporty and good looking guy, she sure as hell should not go out with me.

I don't look that bad, I just changed.

Once I had been sporty, muscular and trained and my arms had been twice the size of what they were now.

I just replaced the tank tops and sports gear with a classy, handsome and more grown up look.

That day I went home, ready to start a fight with everyone who dared to disturb me.

And after a few hours of staring at my homework and not doing anything, I sighed and stood up.

I changed into my sports clothing, put on my trainers and grabbed my bag with a phone, earphones and my pills.

" I'm going for a jog! ", I announced towards my mother.

She looked at me concerned.

I would only go jogging these days when I was really upset about something or wanted to run from the pain.

"Take care! ", she said and rolling my eyes I closed the door behind me.

I started slowly and after about an hour I started walking again.

This was nothing compared to what I had called ' training ' a year ago.

Since then I had changed so much.

But it was a start and it left me breathless and with more clear thought.

That night I slept quite nice and warm and wope up actually motivated for school.

I went into the hallway and met up with the boys.

It was all fine, but there was one thing missing.

She sneaked into the room right after the teacher and with just one look at her I knew something was wrong.

It took only until the second period.

She headed to the teacher, almost tripped over a school bag and stumbled.

I caught her in the fall and inhaled the smell of her.

Oh, How I had loved and missed this smell.

" Get your dirty hands of me! ", she squicked and I just hold her closer.

" Baby; is that a way to say thanks for saving you? " ,I whispered into her ear.

Bam. Before I could react she had slapped me. " I wish you had let me fall, dirty bugger!", she hissed.

" I will remember, I'm sure there will be a next time. "

She looked like she wanted to slap me again, but instead she just shifted up and walked to the teacher.

" Mr. Veltic I'm terribly sorry, but I'm having a meeting with Ms. Bloomfield, my brother's head teacher, now. I ask you to dismiss me for this lesson. ", she said quitly and I could hear how tired she was.

"Isn't that your parents job?", Mr. Veltic was confused.

" Yeah. But my mother is working whole day in the hospital. She can't just get out for a talk with a teacher. ", she responded.

" And why don't your father goes to meet Ms. Bloomfield?", our teacher asked kindly and I hold my breath.

How would she react on that?

" I'm pretty sure he would really like to see Ms. Bloomfield as well as us , but as far as I know he has not found a way to return from heaven now.", Hayley said sarcastically.

Mr. Veltic swallowed hard. " I'm sorry! I did not know! "

I knew she was about to roll her eyes.

" May I go now? I'm 17, almost adult, and I'm taking care and responsibility for my siblings. "

"One last question. How many siblings do you have and how old are they? ", our teacher wanted to know.

"Ian is 15 and Ben and Annie are 4. "

With that she turned around and went out of the classroom.

I smiled about her behavior. She was so much of a caretaker, it was unbelievable.

She came back for the forth period like she had said she would.

But I could see that she was tired, really tired and worrying about something.

I searched all my inner self but I couldn't find the guts to stand up and ask her what's wrong.

Then, at break, I saw her standing quite close to me with her friends, talking quitly.

Suddenly a phone started to ring.

I saw Hayley jump in surprise and search her pockets for the phone.

She walked a few steps away from her friends and luckily towards me and answered it.

" Hey, Ian. What the hell are you doing? I'm in school. ", she asked and my eyebrows furrowed.

Since when did she speak this cold and impatiently with her siblings?

" What? ", I snapped out of my thoughts because I heard the shock in Hayley's voice.

" Okay. Okay! Ian! Listen to me! I promise you it's gonna be alright! We'll fix this! Calm down! I'm gonna be home as soon as I can. Just calm down. ", she said trying to calm her brother down.

That was one amazing thing about Hayley; no matter how difficult or dangerous the situation was, she would never loose her temper but she would stay calm and just by her standing beside you, you would feel safer and calmer.

" It's okay. ", she said softly. " I'm coming home. "

She ended the call and I stepped into her way.

" What? Sneaking out of school again? ", I asked. It was my way to show my concern.

" Would you just shut up already? My brother is in serious problems and I gotta go and save his ass.", she screamed.

" What's his problem? ", I wanted to know.

She stared at me as if she was analyzing whether to tell me or not.

"He is sick.", she finally responded with cold eyes. " And he called me because he is having trouble breathing. "

I swallowed hard.

" tell him to get well soon. ", I said curious.

She just shrugged. " Tell him yourself. "

And with that she grabbed her bags, said a word to her friends and left school running to the bus.

I could see it in the way she had furrowed her eyebrows and how she had been clenching her hands - she was really worried.

I shake my head to get rid of the thoughts.

What a girl!