life is a bitch or how death tore us apart and pulled us together

the evening

Hayley's point of view

After dinner I cleaned the plates and tidied the citchen.

Then I sent Ian into his room with the order to change clothes and get ready for bed.

I helped Ben and Annie clean their teeth and brush their hair. As always the music on the radio was way more interesting than what I had to say and the four of us ended up dancing to pokerface, Ben and Annie in their pygis, Ian only in boxers and I still in my business cloth.

I loved this moments of the day, when we were all just laughing or randomly dancing to some stupid song that came on the radio.

In this moments I was able to forget everything. My family, that was all that mattered.

All I cared about.

In this moments we were happy. In this moments we were able to forget that our father died, that our mother wasn't there for us, that she drank too much and that we all had problems with the money and how to manage our lives.

Smiling I watched my siblings.

Ben and Annie laughed until the tears rolled down their checks. Ian was dancing crazily around the whole room, singing out loud and waving his hands.

"Guys!  I guess it's time. "

After about fifteen minutes I stopped them.

Ben stumbled and Ian rushed at his side to catch him.

I took Annie in my arms and carried her into bed.

I covered both of them with a blanket and said good night to Ian who kissed the two on their checks.

" Can you read us a story, Hayls, please? ", Annie whispered.

I nodded smiling. " Okay, but only one. "

Of course I ended up reading them one fairytale after the other and somewhere during Snow White the two fell asleep.

I stood up, layed the book on the nightstand and closed the door behind me.

Slowly I entered my room and put out my books.

Tomorrow was Latin, physics and math. The vocabulary would take to much time now - I would do them at last.

Math was easy, but it was much. I sat there and wrote two fucking whole pages of stupid exercises.

After about half an hour I laid the pen down and sighed.

Now it was all about physics.  The question I had to answer was difficult, something about quantenphysic, which I hadn't had in school before. That made it difficult. I searched for answers in the Internet and after about one more half an hour I found what I was looking for.

I wrote an answer to the question and closed the books.

That's when I heard the noise. Somebody unlocked the door.

Slowly I got down the stairs.

" You're home. ", I said quitly.

My mother looked up at me and our eyes met.

" I'm home. ", she whispered.

" How was your day? "

" Good. Sorry I wasn't home till you went to bed yesterday. "

I smiled at her. " It's okay. You're busy in the clinic. "

" How are my children? "

The question appeared to be strange but it was normal for me. His children. That was Ian, Ben and Annie.

I was her partner, the caretaker of my siblings, her companion. In her eyes I was already grown up. I had to.

"They are good. All sleeping. "

She looked at me. " And you? How are you? "

I looked at her. It was not common that she asked me how I had been.

"I'm okay. The application for the job was successful. I will earn a bit money on my own now."

She sighed. " I'm sorry that you have to do this. "

I shook my head. " It's okay. I know we need money. "

" How is the new school?", she asked while taking out her jacket.

I was wondering why she was so interested in what I was doing today.

"School's just normal.  It's fine. But. .. did you know that Nick's family moved to New York just like us?", I asked.

She rose her brows and looked at me. " He's in your class? "

I nodded.

" And?  Did you speak to each other? "

" Mom! He is an idiot. Don't ask me. "

She laughed.

" Okay, okay. I won't ask again. "

I remembered talk with Ian from earlier that day.

" There is something I have to speak to you about. ", I said.

And then I told her about Ian's grade.

She sighed and signed the test.

"I'll talk with his teacher. ", she said.

"No." I shook my head. " I will. "

She nodded. " Thanks."

I rubbed my eyes. " Would you mind me going to bed now? It was a hard day and I'm extremely tired. "

She smiled at me. " Of course not. Good night, my beautiful so much grown up daughter. "

I rolled my eyes and went into my room.

The relationship with my mother had always been quite difficult, but it worked.

After my father died she changed.

She withdraw herself completely from us. I never made her any accusation but her behavior hurted me more than I had ever thought it could.