the minor details

one month

it was around 1 in the morning and i couldn't fall asleep. i kept thinking about how i felt when i kissed gwendolyn. she was so perfect, it hurt me to pretend i didn't care about her. her laugh was the most beautiful sound in the world and her smile could light up an entire room. just as i was about to binge ratched again since i couldn't sleep, my phone buzzed. it was gwendolyn. i gave her my number that time i was at her house. my heart fluttered as i opened the message.

hi darling, i couldn't sleep and i've been thinking about you. i think we should talk.

i was just thinking about you. i agree we should talk. can i come over?

yes that's fine. should i come pick you up?

yes please. i'll be outside waiting:)

i jumped out of bed and looked outside. it was still pitch black because it was literally the middle of the night. i found some sweats, a plain tank top and a flannel. i took my hair out of the messy bun and it flowed down my shoulders in shiny waves. i snuck outside so i didn't wake my parents, after i left a post-it saying i had gone to help a friend with something and was just going to stay at her house. i sat on my porch steps and looked up at the stars. i'm guessing gwendolyn wanted to talk about what that kiss meant. i wasn't sure how i felt about it to be completely honest. i was in love with her, but she was so hot and cold, i don't know if i could handle being in a relationship with her. i was pulled out of my thoughts by gwendolyn parking her car by the curb. i hurried to the drivers side and got in. she had her hair in a messy bun and she wore glasses that looked hot on her.

"hi" i said.

"hi" she replied, smiling. it was a comfortable silence, until i asked if i could play some music. she nodded her head. i played some fleetwood mac (obvi). dreams came on, and although it's the most overplayed song, it's still a bop. i was singing and dancing in my seat.

"ohh thunder only happens when it's raining. players only love you when they're playing" i sang. i looked over at gwendolyn who was staring at me with a smile.

"i missed your impromptu concerts" she said. that made me smile. we sang more songs together, and we were finally at gwendolyn's house. we went inside and settled on her couch.

"so i'm assuming you want to talk about that kiss" i said. she nodded, and got up to grab two glasses of wine. i thanked her as she sat back down.

"i'm not gonna lie to myself anymore sara. i have feelings for you. feelings that make me want to kick myself because i can't act on them" she said.

"i care about you gwendolyn-"

"gwen" she corrected me. i smiled and continued. "gwen, i care about you, but these past few weeks have been so confusing and i can only imagine a relationship would be even more confusing."

"so..where does that leave us" she said, taking my hand. i wasn't sure how to answer. obviously i wanted nothing more than to be with her, but it was illegal and she could lose her job.

"i turn 18 in a month. i say we wait to make a decision until then. it would probably be smart to keep keeping our distance from each other, and only spending time alone together when we have to. i want nothing more than to be with you, but i want to see if my feelings for you are real, so i say we wait a month." she was quiet for a minute and seemed deep in thought.

"a month huh? is this like a thing where we wait for each other or are you gonna keep dating?" i saw the jealousy in her eyes when she said that.

"i'll deal with that when the time comes" i said with a smirk. she nodded and looked at her watch.