Leave Your Lover

Chapter Twenty

"Have you seen her?" Conan had a smug look on his face and he badly wanted to smash it. Nay Kamil didn't insisted that he should help his sister-in-law. It was all his stupid ass face brother because he knew Carson is back and she's working there.

"I am so gonna kill you." Gigil na sabi niya. Humagalpak ng tawa ang kapatid.

"Don't you missed her? I just did my part and this is what I get?" Conan smiled playfully before he scanned his patients chart. Kasalukuyan silang nasa clinic nito. He insisted that they talked despite the long line of his patients waiting outside. Gigil na gigil siya sa kapatid.

"Stop playing cupid, Kuya!" Asik niya. "Carson and I are long over. She moved on, she's doing great and I bet she's happy that I'm out of her life. Let it be. Leave us alone and don't do anything stupid." He warned him and stormed out of the room.

The chaos inside his head is still there. It's always there. People said that there's a rainbow after the storm. But it's been four years and the stormed doesn't seem to passed by. Mas nakakayanig pa iyon ngayong nagkita ulit sila ni Carson. He even asked Milan for a prescription of sleeping pills last night. He's back at it. Forcing himself to get some rest because his mind is restless.

His nightmare never stops. Milan said he's a masochist. Because no matter how frightening his nightmares were, he wanted to still slumber so he could have a glimpse of her face. He's crazy and he doesn't know how long he could pull it together.

He passed by the nursery and checked on his nephews. Uriel and Azrael. They are so beautiful, they looked like Tito Adam when he was young. Kamukhang kamukha ang dalawa ng Papa ni Cassiel.

Somehow, the sight of the babies inside that nursery calm the storm inside him. Their charm and innocence made him at ease like magic.

"Peek-a-boo!" He jumped on his stand when Milan popped from somewhere. She giggled like a kid when she saw the ridiculous look on his face. "Where's the twins?" She shifted her attention to the nursery. Itinuro niya naman ang kambal. She giggled and make cute noises. "They are so beautiful!"

"They are." He agreed. Then he remembered his little girl. She's the same age like Ariana if they didn't lose her. Then what ifs flooded his mind again like it always does. Iyong mga tanong na kahit kailan ay hindi naman na masasagot. Siguro kung naging mas mabuting tao siya, hindi mangyayari iyon.

"You remembered her?" Off course Milan knew that. She could read him like an open book. Aside from she's the closest friend he gained over the years, she's a shrink.

He met her one morning outside the farm. Nasiraan ito ng sasakyan. She asked him for help and so he did. He helped her to have her car fixed and offer her a nice meal because it's a decent thing to do. Aside from that, she looked really familiar so he asked her if they already met. She said no, but maybe he have seen her on tv. There he learned that she's one of Mayor Jojo Ledesma's daughter and she happened to be Vancouver's sister. Small world huh?

Since then pabalik balik na ito sa farm. She said she wanted to help him because he's the saddest person she have ever met. The loneliest eyes she have ever looked at. He tried to shoo her away, but just like Cassiel, the girl is persistently stubborn. She earn the spot as one of his best of friends.

"There's not a single day that she didn't crossed my mind." He admitted.

"Connor, I told you to forgive yourself. You never wanted that, but what's done is done. You can't do anything but to move forward." He heard that a million times and he wanted too, but he have no idea how to do so because no matter how many times his brother, Milan and Cassiel told him that it's not his fault, he knows it is. Carson blamed him and he did the same thing for the past four years. He's still mourning. Apat na taon na pero kahit kailan hindi siya umalis sa lugar kung saan siya iniwan ni Carson. Dala dala niya pa rin lahat ng sakit at pagsisisi, habang buhay na pagdudusahan iyon.