"Hindi kita pipiliting magpakasal. You can do whatever you pleases anak, pero sana gawin mo kung ano ang tama. Kasi baka nga tama ang tatay mo, baka nagkamali talaga kami ng pagpapalaki sayo."
Those words kept on repeating on his mind. Idagdag pa ang lungkot sa mga mata ni Nay Kamil ng sabihin niya iyon. Ang akala niya sagad na iyong nagawa niya noon, pero mas matindi pala ito. His mother can't even look at him in the eye and it hurts so much.
He doesn't want to get married but like what he said, he's done breaking her mother's heart. Ganoon na lang ang kaba niya habang binabaybay ang bakuran ng mga Andrade. Hindi niya makakalimutan kung paano siya tumakbo para sa buhay niya ng huli silang magkaharap ng tatay ni Carson.
His mom prepared sumptuous meal for that night. Ngayong gabi sila pormal na mamamanhikan sa pamilya nila Carson.
"Move." Itinulak siya ni Cash ng hindi niya magawang humakbang. Papalapit siya ng papalapit sa realidad. Hindi naman niya itatanggi na gusto niya si Carson, she makes everything light and easy around him, but Marriage? It's a whole different story.
A laki ng ngisi ng kapatid niya bago siya inakbayan at sinabayang maglakad. "Akalain mong naunahan mo pa kami ni Conan."
Unlike what he expected, Carson's familly warmly opened their home for them. Magiliw na magiliw ang nanay nito sa kanya, hindi niya inaasahan na sasalubungin siya nito ng yakap sabay sabing "Napakagwapo naman pala ng mamanugangin ko." While her dad's stare are as cold as ice. Pormal na pormal ang mukha nito habang kinakamayan ang mga magulang niya.
Carson on the other hand is wearing a dress. Puff and sleeves niyon at princess cut ang skirt. Checkered na pink and white ang print na umaabot hanggang tuhod nito. She looked lovely. He thought to himself. Beside her was a chubby little boy. He bet that's Persus.
"Hey." He awkwardly greeted her. Bumeso ito sa kanya bago marahang ngumiti. She hold his hand and guided him to the dining.
Walang kasambahay ang mga Andrade. Tumulong si Carson na ihanda ang mga putaheng niluto ng Nanay niya.
Tahimik silang pinagsaluhan iyon. Tsaka lang nabuksan ang usapin tungkol sa kasal ng nagkakape na sila.
His dad took care of everything. Nagkasundo ang mga pamilya nila sa isang disenteng seremonya. Garden wedding sa isang hotel ng Aragon Empire dahil kaibigan ng Tatay niya ang may ari niyon. Wala silang naging say ni Carson sa kasalan. Para bang wala silang choice kahit pa buhay nila ang pinag uusapan.
He felt exhausted but when he looked at his mom who seemed at ease, nawala bigla ang pagod. The smile on his mother's face and the glint in her eyes will always be his joy.
Naging maayos ang lahat. The next thing he knew, kainuman na ng tatay ni Carson ang mga kapatid at tatay niya habang nagkukwentuhan ang mga nanay nila.
Carson went upstairs to put Persus to bed. Pakiramdam niya wala siyang lugar sa kasiyahang iyon. Ibang iba ang trato ng tatay ni Carson sa mga kapatid niya at hindi naman siya pinapansin ng sariling ama. Parang invisible siya sa lugar na iyon.
He went outside of the house. Mabuti na lang at nagdala siya ng sariling sasakyan so he could get out of that place when things get ugly like the way he expected.
"CJ!" He heard Carson's voice just before he enter his car. Tumakbo ito papunta sa kinaroroonan niya. "Where are you going?"
Natkibit siya ng balikat. "Why are you even leaving?"
"I'm not welcome here." He said that with a chuckle to hide the embarrasment. He saw a sad glimmer crossed her eyes. Carson caress his face and looked at him like the world revolves around him. He had always admire that look in her eyes.
"Ang lungkot lungkot na naman ng mga mata mo."
"Hindi kapag kasama kita." Now his smile was genuine. Para kasing may magic ang mga mata ni Carson, nagiging magaan ang lahat lahat sa kanya kapag tumititig ito ng ganoon.
"Roadtrip tayo?" Biglang yaya nito. Alinlangan siya. Sumilip siya sa bahay, bukas na bukas pa rin ang ilaw at rinig ang mga tawanan mula sa loob.
"Sigurado ka?" Nakangiwi siya. Naalala na naman kung paano niya maswerteng nailagan ang bala ng shotgun. Tumawa lang si Carson bago nauna ng sumakay sa kotse niya.
"Saan tayo?" Tanong niya ng makalabas na sila sa compound.
"Tagaytay?"
"SEX?" Ang lakas ng tawa niya ng mamula ang mukha ni Carson.
"Busog pa ako. Ang sarap magluto ng nanay mo." Binuksan nito ang stereo. Kanta ng bandang LANY ang tumutugtog.
"Masarap talaga magluto si Nanay kaya nung teenage years namin isinasama na kami ni Tatay sa gym para daw kahit kumain kami ng marami, hindi kami tataba, hindi raw kasi healthy iyon." Kwento niya. He realized how he missed the good old days.
They ended up in Starbucks Tagaytay. Hirap na hirap siyang magmaneho pababa sa sobrang tarik ng parking. They bought their famous signature hot chocolate and headed outside.
Naupo si Carson sa hood ng kotse niya at mas pinioing doon tumambay kaysa mag dine in sa loob.
"Ang lakas ng trip mo ha." Ipinatong niya sa hood ng kotse ang hot chocolate bago hinubad ang suot na jacket at ipinatong sa nakaladlad na hita nito.
"Mas masaya dito, walang tao."
"Ikaw ha." Nang aasar ang ngisi niya. "Don't tell me, you want to fuck me on the carhood?"
"CJ!" Pinandilatan siya ni Carson ng mata. He sit beside her and savor the cold breeze. Ginaw na ginaw siya pero dahil sa contentment sa mukha ni Carson, tiniis niya na lang.
"The wedding is in two weeks." She sighed. "Handa ka ba dito?"
"I have no choice." Nagkibit siya ng balikat. It's what his mother wants and he would do everything just to make up for the hearbreak that he caused her. "Sabi ko naman sayo, if you don't want to marry me, you're free to leave. I'll help you--"
"Gusto mo ba?" She cuts him in. Malamlam ang mga mata ni Carson, nakakalunod. Nag iwas siya ng tingin. He let out a deep sigh and answer her with all honesty.
"You're not a bad idea." Sumimsim siya ng hot chocolate. "I like me better when I'm with you. You make everything so easy because you're not complicated and honestly, I like to be with you." He finally met her gaze and wether he admit it or not, he likes the happy glimmer in her eyes cause he's the one who put it in them. "This wedding is'nt bad. I find it easy to accept the fact that I'm gonna be with you for as long as God permits and I hope you feel the same."
Carson remain silent but the glimmer in her eyes is enough for him.
"I can't say that I love you. I don't even know if I'm capable of that thing. But I want the happy glimer in your eyes and I want it to stay that way, I'll do everything to make it stay that way and I hope that's enough."
Carson kissed him and he responded in the same sweet manner. Hindi gaya ng mga nauna, the kiss was sweet and gentle it warms his soul. Carson didn't say anything but with that kiss, he understand that she felt the same.
And that was enough. Enough to keep them going.
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BINABASA MO ANG
Leave Your Lover
Romance"Set my midnight sorrow free. I will give you all of me, just leave your lover. Leave him for me." -Sam Smith Connor Young's Story.