Weeks passed since my realization. I had lost sleep over this stupid feeling. It scared me, rivaling my fear for death. I've never loved someone like this. That sort of trust scared me, but it was equally as thrilling.
It made it hard to focus in all of my training sessions, but I can finally fly decently, and my training with Cassian has helped me developed more muscle and endurance to help me fly longer. Training with Amren has taken the hardest toll on me, but it's a lot easier for me to call to that dark wind now and produce the deadly smoke.
As much as an improvement I've made, Amren keeps pushing me harder, trying to get me to produce more black smoke every day. Which is why we now stand in the forest near where I had exploded months ago.
Rhysand, Nyx, Cal, Adira, and Maeve had come out to watch me practice. At first, the sight of Nyx made my nerves go haywire, but Amren quickly forced me into training.
We've been standing here for the good part of the afternoon. Everyone seemingly bored with my lack of destruction. I on the other hand, was pretty proud of killing an entire tree before I couldn't hold onto the magic anymore.
I breathed heavily and wiped the sweat from my forehead with my arm as I retracted the black smoke.
"When a battle arrives at our doorstep, you'd better be ready to kill more than just a singular tree, girl." Amren leaned against the bark of an old cedar, picking lazily at her fingernails.
I gritted my teeth and crossed my arms. "I'm trying as hard as I can."
"You're limiting yourself. You think that your magic will fall from your grasps as a result of your exhaustion." Amren pushed off the tree and stalked towards me. "We have two Illyrians who will shield us from anything you expel. Trust yourself to let loose, girl."
I sighed and frowned at her, then looked over to the group of Fae who were suddenly more interested in the training. My lips thinned with a look of annoyance, but I closed my eyes and tried again.
"Open them. If you close your eyes during battle you're asking for a knife to make a home in your skull." Amren crossed her arms at me.
Maybe that would be a better fate than the exhaustion that comes with this training. I scoffed to myself.
With my eyes opened, I searched for that dark wind inside of me. It was harder to focus with my eyes open, but I still found the taunting tendrils of black air. Grabbing it easily, I let it run through me and shoot out of my hands, aiming at a tree in the near distance. My exhaustion came in waves, but I pushed through until the tree was dead. Then the next, and the next after that. I could feel the grasp on my magic slip, and a massive blast of smoke shot from my hands. Demolishing another seven trees. Breathing heavily, I went to real it in.
Sensing the magic pull back to me, Amren's voice echoed in the distance. "Don't you dare."
I gritted my teeth, fighting the magic as it threatened to shake itself free of my grasp. "I have to."
"You pull that smoke back in and I'll make sure you regret it in your training with Cassian tomorrow." Amren leveled a deadly gaze at me.
Dreading the kind of workout I'd be forced into, I pushed myself harder than I ever thought possible. The trees around me withered to ash one by one. For a moment, I felt giddy with accomplishment, but that was quickly transformed into fear as the dark magic escaped my grasp. I yelped as it exploded from me in a powerful wave. Demolishing everything in sight.
Wincing, I looked around and saw death and destruction for miles. Rhysand and Nyx had put shields up surrounding the small group, and they lowered them once they noticed my outburst was over.
YOU ARE READING
A Court of Death and Retribution
Fanfiction*Set many years after ACOSF* (Nyx x OC) Belladonna Haven doesn't belong anywhere. She didn't belong in her family house with her abusive father and she didn't belong anywhere after her and her mother escaped. They would all stare at her gloved hands...