Dissociative identity disorder (DID), previously known as multiple personality disorder (MPD), is a mental disorder characterized by the maintenance of at least two distinct and relatively enduring personality states.
Started: 2/22/2021
Finished: 7...
Sai's back since y'all missed him ❤️ Excuse any errors. 🤍 —-—- 2 weeks later.
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Sai.
Anya and little bean were still sleeping, it was going on 3 in the morning and I had tossed and turned for the majority of the night once I fronted, I laid here wishing my eyes would close so that the thoughts I was plagued with would leave me alone at least for a few hours.
You're not good enough.
They don't care, none of them care.
Sucking my teeth I got out of bed, cutting on the bathroom light I closed the door and leaned my back against the cool door. Closing my eyes I tried to relax but the trepidation in my long digits signaled something was bound to happen in this moment.
A panic attack. 3rd one this week.
"Come on, we can do this.. Relax." I whispered to the raging thoughts of our current system trying my best to calm them all down as tears welled up in my eyes but I blinked them away. The thoughts boomed loudly as if a bomb was exploding in my mind. Leaning against the bathroom sink I put my head down.
"In and out... slow... It'll be over soon." I coached myself as the trepidation was soon becoming unmanageable.
Having enough of fighting with myself I swung the medicine cabinet door open. Grabbing the bottle of medication I shook 2 out popping them into my mouth before cutting on the sink, standing there I allowed the cool water to graze against my fingers, it's touch calming me within seconds. Leaning down I scooped my hand under the water drinking some down with the pills I swallowed.
Looking in the mirror I wiped the water that cascaded down my chin.
You feel better now?
"Yes." I muttered responding to River. It seems as if he's been around with me but no Milo, Jaxon, or Zane, no one that I was accustom to. So I assumed they had gone dormant for a while not sure how long that would be but I guess I would be in the position of caregiver and host at least until Milo was ready to return.
Hearing a small voice outside of the bathroom door I made my way out to see little bean standing up in her crib.
"What are you doing up little one?" I queried tilting my head to the side as she cooed chewing on her small fingers. Smiling a little I scooped her into my arms and she laid on my shoulder.
"You must think I'm Milo, I apologize ahead of time it seems that if he's gone away."
She sat up as stared at me before putting her hand on my face.
"Da da."
"No. I'm not Da da..." I twisted my lips to the side.
