In Spite Of It

Slowly But Surely

*y/ns POV*

After dinner with the team I head to bed after my tiring day. I soon drifted off to sleep but I woke up abruptly at about 4am. Ever since Germany I have developed night terrors which can sometimes develop into panic attacks. I haven't told anyone because I am embarrassed. Not even Carol knows. They don't happen if I share a bed with someone.

Now that I am awake I decide to go box. I get dressed and walk down to the training room quietly.

I start hitting the boxing bag and soon developed a rhythm. Right hook, left jab, left upper cut, right leg.

Boxing calms me down. I keep boxing until I am scared by a voice.

"put your dominant leg forward."

"Steve you scared me"

"put your dominant leg forward to have more control"

He starts to walk towards me.

"don't come near me"

"please don't be like this y/n"

"what are you even doing here anyway"

"couldn't sleep, what about you?"

"why didn't you call?" I ask dodging his question

"I was embarrassed over the decision I had made"

"you could have texted, emailed you could have wrote a damn letter for Christ sake!"

"I know y/n. You are like a sister to me. I wanted to talk to you guys. To you. To Tony. To Nat. I was afraid you guys were done with me."

"how could we be done with you guys. Whether I like it or not we are family. You never turn back on family."

"y/n, I'm so sorry" he begins crying. And falls to the ground

I hug him tightly and rub his back.

"I know Steve, it's okay"

"I'm just so sorry" his cries turn to a sob

"shhh shh I forgive you"

"I love you y/n"

"I love you too capsicle"

We both start laughing underneath their tears. I stand up and hold my hand for Steve to grab. I lift him to his feet.

"how is Nat"

"she was really upset but she is better now"

"do you think she would talk to me? *

" I don't know honestly. Maybe get in contact with her. You never know "

" and what about you and Wanda? "

" oooof that ship has sailed for me. I'm with Carol now. And besides Wanda showed how she felt about me five years ago in Germany. I have learned to live without her"

"are you gonna forgive her"

"eventually"

They stare at each other for a few minutes.

"I better go get ready for my run with Sam, this was nice Steve,"

"it really was, thanks y/n"

"no problem, see ya later" I start to leave the room

"and take it easy on Sam will ya?" he shouts after me

"no promises" I shout back and start laughing.

I'm getting my family back. Slowly but surely.