faith in You

5.

Another night robert lay awake, unable to sleep but too tired to do anything about it. Robert had decided that sleeping just wasn’t worth it anymore; especially when that recurring nightmare terrorized Robert's dreams. He was wasting away slowly, and without the support of his friends or family; Robert took it upon himself to self medicate.

Though as soon as the sun set, the sun rose once more; much to Roberts' disdain. Robert knew he had to go into the studio today to finish the vocals to the rest of his songs. Robert just didn’t have it in him at the moment, he felt so burnt out and creatively blocked. It has become a chore to go into the studio and write shit songs about death and suffering.

Robert somehow managed to drag himself to his bed during the night, flopping helplessly onto the sunken mattress before staring at the wall for hours. Robert couldn’t even think; he hadn’t even realized the afternoon had rolled around until there was a sharp knock on his bedroom door. Robert closed his eyes, not recognizing the voice behind the door.

There was another knock before the footsteps went away; and for a moment Robert felt a sense of relief until there was a small click and then his door was thrown open. “Robert!” the voice snarled, sounding aggravated. Robert slowly peeked his eyes open and looked over to the figure. Robert squinted his eyes, vision bleary for staying in the dark for so long. “W-what?” Robert croaked, sounding confused.

Robert watched as the figure approached and grabbed his hand. “Fucking get up! You're two hours late and we have been waiting for you at the studio!” the voice snarled, robert blinked before groaning as if he were in pain. “Fuck off…” Robert mumbled, pulling his arm away but the person persisted, grabbing at Robert until finally Robert got up.

Robert slowly dragged himself to stand, glaring at the guy before realizing it was lol. Robert made a face before shaking his head, “fuck alright- im coming” robert grumbled, “well hurry up!” lol said in an irritated manner, walking over to the door. “Fucking useless bastard” lol muttered before slamming the door behind him. Robert rolled his eyes before slowly walking over to his dresser and digging through it. 

Robert slowly got dressed, stumbling over himself. Robert was so tired, he was nearly delirious. Eventually Robert managed to get dressed and slowly walked down the rickety stairs. Robert heard his mother and father talking quietly in the kitchen, voices hushed so they wouldn’t be heard. Robert stood and stared, blinking slowly before turning away; remembering the conversation he had with his mother days ago.

Robert was right after all, everything she had said was utter cack. 

Lol blared on the horn outside, reminding Robert that he needed to hurry. “Fucking hell..” robert sighed, wanting to just lay down on the floor face first. With a dull expression Robert exited the house, eyes darting up to see lol sitting on the road with an irritated face. Lol didn't even bother to hide his frustrations with robert.

“Sorry lol..” Robert mumbled as he climbed into the car, scratching his arm before sinking down into the seat and staring out the window. A heavy sigh came from lol before he put the car in gear and drove away. “Doesn’t matter robert. I should be used to this by now, but it just gets irritating when you do this every fucking day.” lol said, leaning his face on his fist.

Robert didn't bother to respond, he just simply kept staring out the window with a look of despair on his dark, sunken face.

Robert was the only one to blame. 

******

After they arrived, Robert endured a long lecture from chris. That was to be expected, Robert was too tired to care about what Chris said. Robert felt the need for a drink rise and he wanted to get this day over with so he could skulk back to his room and ruin himself more. Robert hadn’t even spared Simon a passing glance, he didn’t want to see the look on Simon's face.