faith in You

14.

Chris groaned, watching as the clock moved slowly with each passing second. The cure were supposed to be leaving today for their tour; he had made sure to harass them enough to get the point across. Chris didn’t know what to do with these idiots anymore; they were acting like children. Chris tapped his pencil in annoyance, waiting for the band to arrive. 

Chris had given up on trying to get Robert to be better; the idiot was just too lost in his head. He didn’t even know what Simon was doing anymore- and lol seemed like the only bloke with sense in this group. “Don't know how much longer I can take this shit” chris huffed.

Just then, the door flung open and the ENTIRE band walked in; looking irritable and tired since it was rather early in the morning. 7:00 exactly, and this was far too early for any of them to even be awake. Simon looked exhausted, like he just didn’t sleep the night before; lol looked wired on coffee and Robert looked like he had been drinking the night before.

“Jesus christ- you’re all a mess” chris hissed, rubbing his eyes in a stressed manner. “Never mind that- just get your shit onto the bus so we can leave. We are already running an hour behind schedule” chris hissed, grabbing his keys off the table and storming off.

Robert watched as Chris stormed off before sighing heavily, rubbing his eyes before glancing to simon. The entire time the group walked it was dead silent, everyone was tired but Robert couldn’t help but hope that Simon would at least spare him a single passing glace, however it seemed as though Simon couldn’t be bothered to so.

Robert was besides himself; because now that Simon giving him the cold shoulder, Robert didn’t know what to do with himself. Robert could only hope that this tour would help the situation, but the sickening feeling in Robert's gut told him otherwise. Robert had apologized to budgie after what happened at the bar. The only reason why Robert said sorry was because Siouxsie spent 15 minutes cursing Robert out for all he was worth.

Robert already felt disconnected and alienated from the cure; and he didn’t want the same thing to happen again with the other band (even though they treated him like a second class human being.)

Robert set his jaw, watching as lol followed behind chris, stretching his arms over his head and yawning. Robert felt his throat tighten and he glanced to his left where Simon still stood motionless. Robert gazed at Simon, eyes wide. Suddenly Simon's dark eyes lifted and locked with Robert's; unspoken words of tension being shared between them before Simon turned away with a bitter expression and walked right past Robert, as if nothing were wrong.

Robert felt his heart jump to his throat when Simon walked by, his arm hairs rising as Simon gave him the cold shoulder. Memories of the last time they were together flashing inside of Robert's mind; and Robert had to force himself not to get hard. ‘There has to be something wrong with me’ Robert thought bitterly, pushing down the images in his head before trailing after Simon, being sure to keep his eyes down.

‘He acts like it never happened… but then he gets pissed when I do it with other people…’ Robert thought, staring at the back of Simon's head. ‘He doesn’t make any sense at all and here I thought I was the complicated bastad’. Robert wrinkled his nose, looking down once more.

When the gaggle of goths made it to the tour bus they all tossed their luggage into the back of the bus. There was little talking, it was uncomfortable really; and once everything was ready the band promptly left. Robert made his escape to the bunks once more; just as he had done previously on tour. Robert stood his bunk, hoping to try and spend most of the time sleeping.

Robert had brought his stash of drugs for the tour; he was a bit short on money but he made… proper payments with his dealer. Robert was ashamed, but that shame was for him to know alone. Robert didn’t want to be a part of whatever those idiots were doing in the front of the bus; he just wanted to be alone so he could sleep and forget about everything for a little while until he would eventually wake up from a nightmare.