faith in You

7.

Robert didn’t know why he ended up here of all places. Robert wasn’t thinking, he was relying only on his instinct; but now he was regretting listening to his gut. Because now he found himself standing outside Simon's door, fearful tears dripping down his cheeks; wanting so desperately to knock on the door but unable to due to his guilty conscience.

Robert felt like he was going to faint, he had to be standing there forever! Robert took in a breath, lifting his hand to knock on the door before hesitating and holding his forehead. “Fuck…’ robert whispered hoarsely, closing his eyes before turning around and deciding that the only thing that would make him feel better would be a nice big bottle of vodka.

That's what Robert had originally meant to do, but while he was lost in the memories of the night before; he simply found himself at Simon's doorstep. Robert sighed, hugging himself as he started to walk down the small flight of stairs until he heard the door open and a small voice call out softly. “Robert?” His voice made Robert freeze like a deer in headlights. This wasn’t supposed to happen- Simon wasn't actually supposed to open the door.

“Are… you alright?” Simon asked, voice sounding hesitant and tired. Robert guessed Simon must have been sleeping- Robert didn’t know how early it was in the morning. Slowly, Robert turned around, looking guilty and scared. “H-hi… simon..” Robert whispered, shifting uncomfortably back and forth on his heels; thinking of something to say but Robert had nothing. He couldn’t explain why he was there at Simon's pad so ridiculously early in the morning.

Simon furrowed his eyebrows, seeing the puffiness in Robert's face. Simon knew something bad must have happened without Robert even having to say anything; however Simon questioned whether he should get involved or not. Simon didn’t really trust Robert anymore….

“Why are you here so early robert?” Simon said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before leaning against the doorframe; his dark brown eyes never leaving Robert's slouched form. That question was beyond robert, how was he supposed to answer that? Robert breathed in sharply, eyes going down to his feet. “I-i..” Robert stuttered, his face becoming red as unwelcomed tears started to rise up in Robert's face once more. 

Robert covered his mouth with his right hand, muffling a sob that ripped through his body. Simon’s eyes widened as he watched robert becoming more and more of a mess on his front lawn. Simon took a deep breath, eyes going down for a moment before he (against his better judgement) walked towards robert and wrapped his hand around robert’s arm.

“Come on then- you’re hysterical robert… come inside, it’s so early” simon said, ushering robert into the safety of his home. Robert couldn’t say no, all he could do was allow Simon to pull him into the sickening familiar home he used to spend so much time at. Simon brought Robert to the couch and pulled him down to sit; grabbing a blanket that was draped over the back side of the couch and wrapping it around robert.

“Do you want to tell me what happened robert? It doesn't have anything to do with… drugs, does it?” Simon asked carefully; but he had to know if that was the issue. Robert frowned more, disappointed that Simon thought of him like that; however it wasn’t like it wasn’t true. “No!” Robert said, pulling the blanket to his face and wiping his tears.

“Then tell me!” Simon urged, leaning forward to look into Robert's face. “Robert you have to tell me- are you in danger?” Simon asked, grasping Robert's face and lifting it so Robert HAD to look into Simon's eyes. Robert choked up, more tears dripping down his face before he shook away Simon's hands. “I-i can't say..” Robert sobbed, suddenly leaning toward Simon and pressing his face into Simon's neck. 

Simon tensed, not expecting the sudden contact. It had been years since Robert had ever initiated any form of physical contact with anyone really; so whatever happened must have been really really bad. Simon felt his throat tighten and he slowly wrapped his arms around Robert, pulling his body close before burying his face into Robert's hair. Simon listened to Robert's broken hearted sobs, wondering how long Robert had been holding this back.