faith in You

4.

Eventually Robert made it home after that terrible night. After hours of walking aimlessly, he finally found his home and stumbled inside. He walked up to his room, looking like he had seen a ghost and collapsed on his bed, staring at the wall until the sun rose over the horizon. Robert's mind kept wandering back to simon. Robert felt horrible for making Simon so upset. Robert truly loathed himself.

Though as the sun rose higher over the horizon, Robert rose as well to continue his self-destructive cycle. He smoked a few cigarettes in his room, staring at his guitar with a burning hatred for a little while. He took the last few opioid pills he stole from his mother and washed them down with a beer. Then, Robert got dressed slowly and went downstairs to get coffee.

Robert entered the quiet kitchen, he was alone. He guessed his family were still asleep. Robert grabbed a piece of bread and lazily nibbled on it to soak the rest of his hangover before making a thing of coffee. That was the first thing he had eaten in days.

Robert sat on the table, slowly swinging his legs back and forth as he thought about simon. Robert questioned how things even became like this, how had he become such a bitter person.

Robert guessed it had to do with the growth of their fame, he assumed it had to be that. What else could it be? Robert felt so confused and helpless.

Robert jumped when the kettle started to whistle, and he quickly went over to pull it off the burner. Robert however, being as clumsy as he is sometimes, accidentally touched the metal of the kettle and burned his hand. "Shit!" Robert hissed, shaking his hand to alleviate the pain before looking at the angry red wound on his palm. "Fucking great.." Robert sighed, wondering if things always had to go against him.

Robert took in a deep breath, forcing himself to relax before running his hand under the faucet. "Robert? What are you doing...?" Robert's mother suddenly appeared, startling Robert more than he'd like to admit. Robert turned his head and looked at his mother, hesitating before looking away. "Making coffee.." Robert mumbled, turning off the water.

"You're never awake this early..'' Rita said, approaching her son slowly. Robert stood still, thinking up an excuse quickly before turning to face his mother. "W-well i have to be at the studio today to plan tour dates... for our new album" robert said, awkwardly hiding his hand from his mother.

"Robert... haven't you been working yourself enough? I don't think it's a good idea for you to do that in the state you're in at the moment.'' Rita said knowingly, gazing at Robert with a raised eyebrow. "I know you took my pills robert. I was young once too," Rita said gently, so robert wouldn't get offended or hurt by her words

Robert took in a breath before looking away, "look mum... " Robert started, unsure of himself. Robert didn't want to come off mean or harsh, not to his mother...

"I'm fine. Trust me, you'd be the first person i go to if i were in trouble.." Robert said softly, lying right through his teeth. Robert had become an expert at lying by now.

Rita gazed calmly at robert before sighing, rubbing her eyes before giving a faint smile. "Alright robert. I trust your judgement, you aren't a child anymore... i just worry about you, i've noticed how sad and angry you've been recently and i hate seeing you upset.'' Rita said, moving forward and wrapping her arms around robert. "I love you son." she said, squeezing robert gently.

Robert paused, his stomach twisting into knots. Robert slowly wrapped his arms around his mother, lowering his head before sighing. "I love you too mum." Robert whispered, burying his face into her neck...

~~~~~~~

"And the first show is about 3 hours away. That sound good?" Chris sighed, hand resting on his forehead as he tried to figure out their tour map. He had already booked a decent amount of venus, but he was having trouble getting the band on board with it. Well, he was having trouble with Robert the most...