faith in You

11.

When the cure retired from their small promotion tour; robert immediately called his dealer to place a new order for drugs. Robert was on his last bit of cocaine he got from that xavier guy after fucking him in the bathroom. Robert was avoiding Simon once again; not wanting to look at the face of the man who he had disappointed over and over again with his selfish emotions.

On a  brighter note; souxie from souxie and the banshies had reached out to robert. They had been talking about Robert filling in with their band since they needed a new guitarist. Robert was apprehensive; he knew that the banshees were kind of intense, but he needed a distraction from his life. Robert knew that working more wasn’t going to help too terribly much; but Robert was desperate for new ways to ignore the fact that his life was falling apart.

Robert made it a point to not be around simon. Robert wasn’t able to think clearly when simon was around; robert believed that simon was the cause of all his problems now (even though it made no logical sense). 

So now Robert spent most of his nights away from home, partying with the banshees; getting drunk and doing strange drugs until he blacked out and woke up in a stranger's bed. Robert had gotten used to waking up with strangers, the knowledge that he was simply a sexual object had been ingrained into his head so much by now; that he didn’t even care anymore.

Robert realized as well, tht if he drank to the point where he blacked out; he would be able to sleep without having nightmares. 

Currently Robert was at another bar with the banshees, for the 3rd night in a row. Robert sat up, wiping the white power off his face before grinning lazily and sitting back. “Haha! Christ robert, you’re really getting good at this” budgie  grinned, slapping robert’s shoulder. Robert jerked forward, letting out a breath before looking at the drummer.

“Yeah- got a bit of experience under my belt..” robert mumbled, rubbing his face before another beer was forced into his hands. “Here, drink up!” budgie grinned, wrapping his arm around robert’s shoulder and keeping robert from wandering off in a haze.

Robert didn’t really like hanging around with the banshees too much; they worked all the time, partied almost every night. Every night robert would get drunk and do something stupid; and budgie would be there to either encourage robert or save hi.

Robert laughed at nothing, rubbing his eyes before swatting budgie away, “bug off, always getting me too drunk budgie '' Robert slurred, eyes drooping a bit. “What? I don't make you drink! You are the one who accepts it!” Budgie laughed with robert. The two men laughed boisterously, not caring how disruptive they were being.

Robert let out a breath and looked up, seeing if he could find souxie and severin; but they had both disappeared. “Wonder where they went off to '' Robert said, taking another drink and gulping it down.  “Probably went off to shag in the bathroom- i’m telling ya fat bob; they are definitely smitten with each other” budgie said, using the mean nickname the band bestowed on robert.

Robert frowned, shooting budgie a look. “Don't call me that, christ i don't know why you blokes insist on that stupid nick name” robert hissed pensively, pulling away  from budgie who frowned. “Oh don't be a bitch robert, it’s just a nickname!” budgie said. “You’re acting like a woman, here just drink some more” budgie huffed, pushing another shot towards robert.

Robert pursed his lips, muttering under his breath before taking the shot and downing it like no tomorrow. “Asses, the lot of you” Robert slurred, blinking slowly. Budgie laughed, shaking his head at Robert's moody behavior before indulging himself into more illegal drugs.

****

The next morning Robert woke up on the floor of souxie's  living room. Robert was face first on the ground, with a thin blanket draped over his body and an empty bucket next to him. Robert’s head was killing him. Robert groaned, his whole body aching from sleeping on the floor. Robert sat up slowly, surprised that he actually ended up on the floor instead of in someone’s bed.