faith in You

10.

Robert’s body hated him- he couldn’t stop vomiting all morning. Robert guessed he had caught some kind of illness. Robert knew that it couldn’t be food poisoning- for obvious reasons. Robert had a fever, he was shaky and his stomach felt like someone had kicked him over and over again. 

Robert curled up into a ball, holding his stomach. Robert sighed, feeling like he was going to vomit once again until suddenly someone pulled back the curtain to his bunk. “Robert- are you alive in there?”.

It was fucking lol- of course, he never knows how to fuck off.

Robert peeked his eyes open, glaring daggers at his band mate. “Sadly. The fuck do you want, cant you see im in the process of dying right now?” Robert hissed venomously; making lol grimaced. “Ah… well, i got you medicine… if you want it..” lol said, offering up the bottle of pepto bizmol. Robert narrowed his eyes before taking the bottle and opening it.

“Robert- wait-” lol said, watching in horror as Robert drank straight from the bottle. Robert closed his eyes, drinking almost half the bottle before pulling away and whipping his mouth. “Thanks.” Robert grumbled, closing the half empty bottle before turning on his side and curling up once more.

“Christ robert- you can't just do that! Haven't you ever heard about overdosing on medicine before?” lol said, glaring at robert; who seemed rather un-phased by lol’s anger. “It’s just pepto bizmol lol… don't get your panties in a twist..” robert grumbled, pulling the curtain closed and hugging his pillow to his chest.

“Jesus..” Robert heard a sigh before simply walking away.  Robert sighed, closing his eyes once more as he let sleep take over him; hoping that he would be able to sleep away this illness.

*****

“Nothing but a whore… look at you, robert..” that familiar voice hissed; gripping robert’s face tightly, making robert’s teeth cut into his cheeks. “What a pathetic being you’ve become… letting strangers fuck you for drugs… why would he ever love you?” the voice sneered. Robert whimpered in fear, tears building up in his eyes.

“P-please stop-” Robert begged, but that vice grip on his face made it difficult to speak. “What a filthy voice you have; you’re nothing but a whore..” “a whore..” “filthy whore..”

The voice began to surround robert; repeating that same phrase over and over again. Robert felt like his head was going to explode. “NOTHING BUT A WHORE!” Robert squeezed his eyes shut, feeling two hands shove him back until yet again, he was falling to his inevitable demise.

Robert flailed, desperately calling for help but his voice was drowned out by the voice inside his head, screaming at him. Suddenly, the sharp and familiar pain of glass digging into his back met robert; and he finally cried out in agony. Robert couldn’t wake up, he was stuck inside his dream, thrashing around as the glass dug deeper and deeper into his skin.

Robert wanted to give up, he thought that maybe he should just let it happen. Maybe he was dying in real life?

Robert sobbed in pain, looking up to see the people he loved most laughing at him and his suffering. “P-please just make it stop- i can't take it anymore” Robert cried, looking at the face of Simon who was the only one not laughing at Robert's pain. “S-simon please” Robert begged, reaching out for his hands that were covered in blood and glass.

“H-help..” Robert whimpered, watching as Simon's face hardened and he turned away, turning his back to Robert and walking away with some strange woman he had never seen before. “Goodbye robert.” Simon said, voice cold.