faith in You

12.

Robert stared blankly at the small television screen that had pictures of insects and rotten meat flashing across the screen. Robert was sitting in the living room of budgie’s house once more; another week had passed since he had started playing with the banshees. Another week had passed since Chris had threatened to kick Robert out of the band- another week since his father had cussed him out.

Another week without simon…

Robert swallowed thickly, feeling like there was cotton in his throat; making Robert feel like he was choking on nothing. Slowly Robert took a drink from the half empty bottle of tequila; unable to look away from the morbid pictures on the television. Robert gritted his teeth, feeling restless. He had to have been sitting there for hours, mindlessly watching- brooding away the day until another night of meaningless partying ensured. 

“Oi- you’re still sitting here?” a budgie suddenly appeared from the kitchen; holding a poorly made sandwich. Robert grunted, taking another drink before finally looking away and gazing at his so-called ‘friend’. “Yeah, it’s scary. Can’t help but be interested in it..” Robert mumbled, turning off the tellie. Slowly Robert stood up, still grasping the bottle of alcohol.

“I gotta go..” Robert mumbled, feeling around for his keys. “Chris needs me… the studio..” Robert said, frowning. Budgie eyed Robert, watching as he mindlessly searched for his keys before clearing his throat. “Your keys are on the table bob” budgie said, taking a bite from his sandwich. With an irritated expression, Robert snatched his keys off the coffee table. 

“Thanks.” Robert slurred, obviously too drunk to drive; but also too stubborn to be told no. The drunk male slowly walked to the front door, nearly tripping over his feet as he walked; but eventually Robert made it to the door. “Bye bye..” Robert said, sounding almost playful for a moment, but the budgie just turned away and walked back into the kitchen.

Robert rolled his eyes and left budgie’s house; stumbling to his van that was parked out on the road. Robert poured out the rest of the alcohol into the grass before climbing inside; only briefly wondering if it was a good idea to drive while he was so drunk. What was worse though? Staying here and watching shitty picture movies and getting yelled at by Chris for not making appearances or driving a small 15 minute drive and getting lectured by Chris about being drunk again.

Robert decided to take the latter. He shoved the keys into the ignition and slowly pulled out into the road; doing his best NOT to die in a car crash since he was seeing double. Robert steadily bit his nails, mindlessly driving as his thoughts wandered back to the last time he saw chris- or the rest of the band.

Robert’s hand was nearly healed by that point, he didn’t have to wear bandages anymore. Though the scars on his skin didn’t help with Robert's mental state- in fact it made him fall deeper into his dark thoughts. Robert had become quite manic in the last few months, and there was only a few things holding robert back from doing something rather stupid and impulsive.

While Robert was lost in his thoughts, he didn’t see the light ahead turn red. Robert glanced up for a moment, seeing that he was about to ram into the backside of the car in front of him- and slammed on the brakes. Robert braced, hoping that he was able to prevent an accident; and thankful he was able to stop just in time.

Robert let out a breath, feeling his heart hammer in his chest as the cars around him blared on their horns, screaming at him out of their cars, but Robert didn’t pay them any mind. He was too busy trying to remember how to breathe. 

“Fucking hell..” robert sighed, leaning back and covering his face. Maybe driving wasn;t such a good idea after all…

******