When I'm Gone ( Nate Maloley AU)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Hayden's POV

It's almost as if everything was crashing down at me, as I stand there with tears rolling down my face. My hand covering my mouth, and my other and on my forehead. Cam has to leave soon and I have to be home alone with the maids. I miss the others and it's not fair that I had to move back. Nate has to be there because of his music. Cam quickly wraps his right arm around my waist and pulls me to him. I wrap my arms around him and sigh shakily.

"I want to go back to Cali."

"You could," he states, "you can live with Nash and I."

"It'd have to be the two of us knowing, if Nate did then I'd be in hell, again,"

Cameron smiles and nods. I pull from his grasp and go to the kitchen. The maids left for a while to go home. Cameron wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back to him. I smile to myself and kiss his cheek.

"You know, your mom likes me more than Nate."

"She does?" I ask shocked.

My mother loves Nate, but she didn't know what he did to me as a kid. What Sam did to me.

"Can I go take a nap?" I ask innocently.

"Sure. I'll surprise you when you awake."

My face brightens as I walk up the stairs to my room. I miss the others. Not Nate or Nash, but my friends.

I lay in bed and get comfortable, falling asleep almost instantly.

•••

"She's such a loser," Gilinsky laughs as I make my way through the hallway.

I keep my head down as I find my way to my Honors English class. Kids laugh and make comments at me. Suddenly, I'm knocked down and my books fly from my grip. I face the floor knowing who it is.

"Get up, Hayden," Sam barks.

I shut my eyes knowing that if I don't the beating will be severe when I get home. I stand and cover my stomach, only to have Mike pull my hair back causing me to grip his hands, and Sam knees me in the stomach. I fall to the floor in pain.

It's not like people bother to help anymore. I'm really the punching bag for the whole grade.

"Get up!" He shouts at me.

"Fuck off," I spit at him trying to collect my belongings.

That didn't make him happy as he grips my wrist causing me to cry out, as the new cuts are touched. Sam knew about them, because my mom screamed at me for it. Saying I should cut straight down, since I was the let down who allowed my father to leave more than two months prior.

"Please," I whimper, "Just stop."

Sam lets go of me and allows me to gather my books as I run down the hallway with tears in my eyes. I make my way to class and sit in the back. I wish my dad took me with him. Tears fall down my bruised face. Students make their way into class, and soon after, my teacher.

I look up to see Nate staring at me. I hide my face and look as she puts my essay down on the desk.

100%

I smile triumphantly. The one achievement in life my mom could be proud of. As class goes by soon the bell rings and I make my way out of class. Sam's dad is coming to pick me up early today. I see him and walk to the front desk.

He obviously sees my face, but waits to speak until we get in his truck.

"What happened?" He asks concerned.

"It's nothing. I'm not comfortable talking about this."

"Was is Sam?"

I nod, knowing what Sam'll do after him and mom leave for another business trip.

•••

I sit up panting. Cameron is beside me looking worried.

"Are you okay, Hayden?"

"Yeah," I whisper.

Lying to Cameron hurts, but when it comes to this I have to push it out of my mind.

"what's wrong, Hayden?" He asks in a demanding tone.

"Cameron, please don't ask me right now," I plead with him as tears fill my eyes.

These memories I pushed out of my mind. They're back and I can't let that happen again.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"It's just a memory, Cameron. I'm fine," I assure him.

But I lied more than he knows.

Nate's POV:

He slept around every day. Hayden was his past as his present is not caring. It was a lie though. He misses her so much. Nate wishes he was never in her life. He wished he listened to Sam and stayed away. Everyday he thinks to himself about how much of a fuck up he is. He misses her touch. The way she made his days brighter. He let that go down the drain.

She's with Cameron now, and everything they were didn't matter anymore. She was gone. Nate remembers the day Sam forced him to beat her up until she couldn't move. It was because Sam found out about his crush.

Nate was stronger than Sam. Hayden couldn't move after that. He remembers the cries that came from her when she begged him to stop, and when he didn't she knew that it didn't matter anymore.

Nate's hated himself everyday since then. He vowed never to lay another hand on a girl. He didn't. Instead he verbally abused Hayden. Nate hates himself ever since he cheated on her, and mentioned her dead father.

She was strong for herself. She built walls that he thought no one would ever break. Nate calls her.

"What?" She snaps, "Don't try to apologize for anything, Nate."

"So you don't want an apology for the day that I almost killed you."

"No," she says shakily, "because I know Sam had you do it. I still think about all the abuse that happened during my secondary school years. You took part in most of it. Nate. Stop pretending like you care. Cause you don't, and never did. I know you want forgiveness, Nate. I just can't give that to you when I know I can't."

She hung up. Leaving Nate hopeless.