When I'm Gone ( Nate Maloley AU)

Aftertaste: Chapter Twelve

Hayden's POV:

I never really left my room. I didn't want to be seen by anyone except for Cameron who helped take care of me, and I hated it. I hated that I could no longer walk, could no longer do what I once could. They said it'd be temporary, but it's seemed to have lasted forever.

I was numb. I was in the constant state of taking pain killers. Sam showed his face once to apologize for what he did, and I could see the hurt in his eyes. My mother, didn't even care. They were all out for the day, including Cameron. Leaving me alone to my thoughts that swallowed me whole. Thoughts that included me loving Nate even though he didn't help, and I hated it.

I get off my bed and get info my wheelchair, going into to my dresser to pull out clean undergarments. I feel tears prick my eyes. I go to the bathroom and start the water in the tub.

I use the rack they installed to help me stand as I pull off my jeans and underwear along with using one hand to take off my bra. I quickly remove my shirt and sit back in my chair to shut the water off. I slowly get in the tub. Feeling it's warmth embrace me like the summer heat.

I lie back and shut my eyes. I wash myself and wash my hair before I shave. Once I'm done I grab my robe and wrap it around me before I sit back down in my chair. I have to use all my upper body strength and it sucks.

I pull my underwear up my legs and I force my top half to pull me up so they fit around my butt. I put on my bra and make my way to my closet. I pull down my long black dress and slip it over my head, and pull it down my legs, I slip on my black heeled hiking boots.

I make my way to my vanity which allows me to see myself in the mirror. I brush through my hair and braid it to the side of my head. I do my makeup dark and put on my fake lashes. Even though I have no plans today. I leave my room to see Cameron asleep on the couch. The boys are in the backyard.

I try to wheel past him, but Cam stops me.

"Are you alright?"

I don't speak. I'm scared my voice will crack as tears prick my eyes. Cameron is the only one who has tried to take care of me. When I look outside, Nate isn't there.

"He slept with her last night."

I wipe the fallen tears away and don't even look at Cameron.

"is there anything you need?"

I shake my head and turn back around to go in my room. My appetite was long forgotten. I shut my door and locked it. I knew I could go out, I knew I could talk to the others, but I was scared of rejection, I was scared that they would kick me out.

I go to sit back on my bed, and I grab my laptop. There's a light knock at my door. I sigh, hoping whoever it is goes away.

"Hayden, we need to talk," it was Nate.

He unlocks the door when I don't answer. I sit there pretending not to see the boy who has broken my heart so many times. His hair is disheveled and he looks so tired and sad.

"Go, Nate, I don't want to talk."

He doesn't listen as he sits beside me and takes my laptop away. He sighs and just shakes his head. I see the pain and I know he can't do a thing. I pull him closer to me, and soon enough he's leaning over me.

He kisses me softly. Holding himself up as he slowly deepened the kiss. It was then I realized how much I missed Nate. I still hate it, but he knows me better than I know myself.

"I'll be your girlfriend."

He smiles and pulls away.

"You have physical therapy."

•••

I sit in the car waiting for Nate. He finally comes back and holds a bunch of papers. He opens the door and slams if shut. I look at my feet. My chair is in the back of his truck.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

He takes my hand as we drive home. I can't tell him about my call. Nate arrives home and I don't move. Not because I can't, but because I told Cameron the news, and I couldn't bear the disappointment I'll put everyone through.

"You ready to get out?"

I shake my head. Nate sighs and gets out and gets my wheelchair while I sit in the car. He helps me out and I still don't try to move. Nate kneels in front of me.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

I move past him, to go inside. Cam can tell them, but if I do I'll cry. I make it past him, and slam my door shut. Locking it and putting a chair under the knob. I pull myself on the bed and just lie there.

Cameron's POV:

He watches as she hides herself away. Nate comes in and looks at Cameron. The others were just as confused.

"What's wrong with my sister?" Sam says, breaking the unbearable silence.

"The doctors from Vegas called. Hayden has no possibility of ever walking again."

Nate makes his way to talk to her, but they see she locked the door. Cameron can see that Nate won't try. It's worse for her than it is for them, and they all know she'll believe otherwise.

•••

They blared another party while Cameron bribes Hayden out of the house.

"I don't want do go anywhere," she whispers.

"It'll be okay."

They make their way out and Cameron helps her in his SUV. She stays quiet the whole time, they're getting Chipotle, and then he's taking her to see Jude.