When I'm Gone ( Nate Maloley AU)

Chapter Four

Hayden's POV:

The visitation was the worst part of seeing my dad after five years.  His new wife and kids were treated great like they were the only ones in his life, and maybe I hated him for this. For claiming to care enough about us to leave, and really he just started a new family. Nate left me to be alone here since he didn't know my father. When his new wife, widow, I guess, notices me, she walks over to me. She's smiling like she's excited to see me, but I'm sure that isn't it. 

"Are you Hayden? Miles daughter?" she asks me. 

"I am," I whisper.

"Are you okay? I know this is a lot."

"No. I hated my father my whole life. He left us because he didn't want me to know that he had cancer."

She looks at me with guilt and pity, but she takes my hand and walks me over to a couple toddlers. The two look at me, and smile. I look over at my dad's casket. He's bald, but I can see how much I look like him. If I only knew him better than I thought. I feel arms wrap tightly around my waist, and I see Nate. He motions over to Sam who's saving the two of us a seat. 

"Are these your guy's kids?" Nate asks. 

"Yes. These are her half-siblings, Miles talked about you, but the story has to be different than what I was told. 

They look at me and I just smile. We walk back over to Sam, who is seated next to my grandparents, my mother's parents and my father's parents. 

"Are you alright, hun?" Grandma Lucille asks, taking my hand as I sit beside her. 

"No, not really." 

Nate pulls me close to him and holds my hand in his. Sam moves to sit to my right, and takes my other hand. I miss when he and I were friends before everything changed. 

"I swear the next person who asks me if I'm okay, I'm gonna start throwing punches," I whisper to Sam. 

After long grueling hours, I escape the church. Sam waits for Nate and I as I try to talk him out of getting close. Nate kisses my temple in an attempt to calm me, but I pull away and look at him. 

"I can't be with you, Nate."

"W-what. Why?"

"Because I can't go on pretending that my life isn't a mess right now. Sam's not gonna change, and I'm left to be treated like shit."

Nate puts his palm on my cheek, looking at me with sadness and guilt. I sigh and look at him as I lean against his car, then my eyes go to Sam who is talking to my stepmother. 

"Don't leave me, Hayden. I've been here for you even though you didn't know it. With Sam and Jack insulting you? Making lies about you? I stopped them from happening." Nate states. 

"Nate-"

"Please, Hayden. Please."

"Okay, Nate. I'll give you one chance," I say. 

Nate smiles widely, before leaning down and putting his forehead against mine. My eyes flutter shut as he holds my chin and kisses me. Nate's hands rest on my waist as he kisses me softly. 

"Hayden", Sam says.

Nate pulls away, and I open my eyes.

"Yeah?", I whisper.

"She wants to speak with you."

I nod and walk over, she has a fake smile on her face when I walk over. She doesn't like me, she doesn't like that his past is coming back to fight everything he tried to erase. 

"Hayden. Your father never talked about you. I want you to not come to the funeral tomorrow."

"Excuse me? You're not in charge of me. He's my father. You three weren't the only ones in his life."

"Your siblings don't know you, it's better for everyone if you don't."

I walk away from her, and glare at the ground. He was my father first, in my life before hers. He obviously didn't care for them if he was okay with dying. Nate tries to grab my wrist, but I pull my arm away. 

"Hayden-"

I open the back door of the car. I slam it shut and they get in.

"What did she say?"

"That me, the girl who was not ever talked about is not wanted at my dad's funeral. So, I'm not going."

The two sigh sadly. Sam pulls up into our driveway leaving Nate and me in the car. Nate waits for a moment before he gets out, and opens my door. I step out, and he takes my hand to allow me to have some physical support. 

"I'm not allowed to see him get buried, Nate! I'm the little mistake he made before he found true happiness. If I go, I'll be arrested."

Nate doesn't say a word to me as he picks me up, bridal style and carries me inside the house. Nate sits on the couch with me on his lap and I remove my heels. 

"I'll be upstairs, Nate. Please take care of her," Sam states and looks at me. 

"Okay, Sam," Nate starts, "We will find a way to see his funeral, okay?"

"I don't want to go, Nate." 

"Okay." 

Nate pulls me closer to him, with his arm draped around my body and his head resting against my own. Silence surrounds us for a while, making me feel comfortable by just being in his embrace. 

"Hayden?"

"Hm?"

He trembled underneath me.

"N-Nevermind."

I look up at him before I shut my eyes and entwine our fingers. 

Nate's POV:

Nate looks down at her. She knows his feelings and he wants her to feel the same, but it's useless. Every time he thinks he has the guts to ask, he chickens out. There's so much hurt from their past, it was useless and he knew she shouldn't care for him.

Nate looks down at the sleeping beauty. Her arms wrapped underneath him, and her hair sprawled against his chest. She sighs in her sleep and turns her head in another direction. Sam emerges from the staircase.

"Should we go to school tomorrow?" Sam asks. 

"We should try."

 Soon, Gilinsky and Johnson come in and they see the girl lying across his chest. Johnson's face heats, but he doesn't say anything. Maybe things have changed. 

"Jack, can you take her upstairs?", Nate asks the blond.

"Sure."

Jack picks her up. Gilinsky follows him, not really noticed by Sam or Nate. 

"She's in hell, Sam."

"Yeah. And it's mostly because of me," Sam states. 

"Get out!", Hayden screams.

They look at each other. Nate races up the stairs. Jack Gilinsky has her against the wall.

"Jack!", he says to the blond.

"I-I'm sorry."

Nate sighs and pushes Jack away from her. She looks at him and pushes them out.