When I'm Gone ( Nate Maloley AU)

Aftertaste: Chapter Thirty

Libby and Katie both leave to their end of the apartment, leaving me alone with Cameron. We go to my room so I can pack some things for the road. He sits on my bed and sees my polaroids of Nate and myself, but they're overpowered by the ones of the two of us. A few pride flags hang up along with band posters. This feels like home and I wouldn't ever change that. I've felt alone, as Katie and Libby are with their boyfriends and college friends.

I pack the rest of my things since they leave tomorrow for Melbourne. I sit beside Cameron and he stands up. He walks to the wall full of photos of Nate and I. Photos where I was so in love with him. I couldn't see the toxicity of our relationship.

"Why do you have them if you hate him?"

"It's a part of my life, Cam. I don't even look at them."

"You look at ours," he whispers.

Dates and times and places live on the photos. They're worn out from me taking them down and putting them back up. I miss Cameron, and he knows that. Cameron is so important to me and I wish we never broke up, but I had to get away.

Cameron sits by me and takes my hands. I look at him before he kisses me, and pulls me on his lap. I kiss back, allowing his mouth to make marks on my neck, and whatever exposed skin he could find.

Two small gasps and annoying giggles interrupt us. I sigh and bite my lip.

"Should have locked the door," Cameron laughs and I move so he can talk to them.

I fall back on my bed and sigh; going back would be a good idea. I can't leave this place for a year. It has only been two months. I walk out and watch as they talk with their idol. Cameron answers about my time in California.

One's I've told them but never told them who it was with.

"So you were her first?" Libby asks.

"Yeah," he says, "I mean, I had felt like it was so she would never get kidnapped again. She felt scared to even do it."

Cameron looks at me. They do as well and he leaves their side. We shut and lock the door as Cameron pulls me to lay beside him. He has an alarm set for tomorrow.

I lay next to him as he wraps his arms around me.    

When we both woke up the next day and hurried to the bus so we could get my things in before Cameron had to be at soundcheck. Derek hates the idea of me joining the tour, but then again, I can help Cam stay focused on the tour.

"Cam, Nate is gonna follow us."

"Let him, he can't have you."

Cameron kisses me and I pull away. He runs out to do soundcheck.

"Will you not distract him?" Derek asks.

I look at him.

"Yes."

"Okay. We both know you should stay in the space, stay backstage and I'll get you if he has a panic attack."

"Okay."

Cameron comes to me about an hour later. He has the biggest smile on his face. I smile back and let him take my hand as we head into the parking lot.

"I'm gonna go shopping for the day."

"Okay."

He kisses me and I smile

"."Come back around eight thirty, okay?"

I nod and let him go as I walk to the nearby mall.

"You know, it's not nice to ignore me," Nate says as he appears beside me.

"it's because I hate you."

He grabs my wrist and I come face-to-face with him.

"Let me go, Nate."

"Or what?"

I pull from him and walk away. He grabs me and pulls me to the side so no one can see us.

"You will take me back one day."

"Don't think so. High school was a long time ago, and Cameron cares. He didn't cheat on me or force me to cheat on someone I'm dating."

Nate pushes me against the wall and kisses me. I shove him off fast.

"Touch me again or come near me, I'll get police involved."

He glares at me as I walk away.       

Katie and Libby find me as I make my way to leave.

"Are you gonna continue to live with us when you come back?"

"Of course, you guys! I'm not leaving until you kick me out."

They smile.

"I have to head back to the venue. Okay?"

They nod and I walk to the bus. It was later than I planned.

"There you are!" I look over at Cameron and smile sadly. 

He doesn't know that Nate won't back off, that he'll chase me until I agree to date him again. I just can't do that to myself. I can't let him bring me back into that trap of a relationship just so he can have his way- it's too much. We get on the bus and I'm pulled to join Aaron, Cam, Trey and Willie as they talk. It's hard when many girls aren't on this tour besides Aaron's mom. I sit with my head laying against my arms, and Cameron's hand is on my back. Nate can't follow me, I won't let him ruin this. 

Cameron nudges me and I look up at him. 

"Follow me." 

I nod and we go to the back of the bus. He shuts the door and it's a small room with a few couches, but he sits down and I join him. I lay on his lap and he laughs as I just smile up at him. 

"Nate's been following you, huh?" 

I nod. Cameron knows I can't hide a damn thing from him. Maybe I should move back with him to California. No matter where I go, Nate finds a way to harass me. I sit back up and I let Cameron kiss me and bring me closer to him. I end up on his lap, but I pull away knowing anyone could walk in. 

"I need to sleep." 

He nods and I lay on the couch as he sits beside me and allows me to sleep undisturbed.