𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓 || 𝐃.𝐌

𝟎𝟒𝟓

"Aren't you going to eat?" Blaise asked, looking at me with a concerned expression on his face as he took a bite from breakfast. "It's pancakes day, you love pancakes. Remember?"

"Blaise, she's been like this for the last three weeks." Theodore said. "Numb. She's not talking, not smiling and she's barely eating. She only sleeps."

Wrong. I don't sleep. I can't. The nightmares visits every night. And they only get worse and worse.

I glanced down on my plate. The untouched pancakes, the syrup and the berries Blaise had decorated to a smiley face.

"Just eat one bite for me," Blaise begged, reaching for my hand as he lightly squeezed it. "Please?"

I could feel the hesitation growing in me. But the look on his face, the concerning look spread all over his face.

"I'm not hungry." I faked a faint smile. But I know that I didn't fool anyone.

I am hungry. I'm fucking starving. But I won't eat until Draco talks to me.

I only eat when I'm close to pass out. I usually sneak into the kitchen and steal something.

Sometimes I can catch glances of him, when he leaves class.

I would go back to our dormitory hoping that he would be there.

But he's not.

He's not sleeping there.

I go to the room of requirement from time to time, but when I'm there he isn't.

"It's not good for you." Blaise switched seats and sat beside me instead. "He wants you to eat. He wants you to spend time with us and to have fun. That's what he said in the letter."

I know. I fucking know.

"If he really cared for me he wouldn't have left me." I murmured, picking up the fork and starting to play with the pancake on my plate in front of me with disgust. "If he really loves me he would have told me what's bothering him, he would have been honest with me and told me the truth. Not leaving me, not ignoring me. Not running away from me, 'to keep me safe' , that makes no sense. I actually thought he loved me."

"He does love you." Daphne said. "He probably has a good reason for everything. I'm sure he has everything under control. He does this to keep you safe. And you have to earn up to his wishes, have fun, smile. Don't be like this. I promise you that everything will be fine."

"It's not!" I snapped. "It's not going to be okay. You know what, " I stood up, ready to leave. " — I'm going to leave, and I'm going to find him."

"Don't make a scene." Theodore stood up.

Theodore has been on my nerves for the last three weeks. I know that he knows what's wrong with Draco but he wont tell me.

I opened my mouth to snap at him but decided not to, since I was scared to say something rude or stupid.

"I'll see you guys later," I walked away, leaving them in the great hall. The moment I was in the corridors. I ran.

I ran towards the room of requirement.

But just like I expected he wasn't there.

Disappointment grew in my chest, I pressed myself against the wall and slid down. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged myself.

But I couldn't cry. I can't. I don't know why but I just can't. The tears don't want to escape. They don't want to fall down my cheeks, I want but they don't.

So I just sat there. On the floor, numb, against the wall in the empty corridor.

.
.
.

I sat on the bed, trying to figure out what to do with my life.