The rose and the sunflower.
The girl with the golden eyes and the boy with a golden heart.
The girl that believed love was just a fairytale and the boy that believed fairytales are just stories waiting to come true.
'I used to think love was a point...
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Hayley's POV:
"I'm going to be really raw with you guys right now," I dare not let my eyes glance at the camera on my dashboard while I drive. "I think... I feel lonely right now and I don't know what to do about it. I'm on my way to a friend's house, and even when I'm with people... in a room full of people, I still feel so alone." I visibly shudder. "Did you see that?" I allow a quick glance at the lens. "That shudder was a physical representation of how icky talking about my feelings makes me feel.
"But whatever. I'm trying to learn how to cope with it. I think some of you know I was just in New York for work. I love New York a lot, I was thinking about moving there for a few months. But that also costs money and effort... I don't know. I've been living in LA since the end of 2013 and it was kind of spontaneous. I do love LA and a lot of my work is here. I mean, I just opened the salon here with two of my best friends but a lot of my work is also in Europe and- I don't know if everyone knows this but I used to live in London. I lived there for three years before I moved to the States.
"The thing is I do travel a lot, especially recently, and I'm never really in LA as much as I used to be. That's also why I'm thinking about moving to New York for a couple months more permanently, you know? I could just, like, go because I have an apartment in the city. I haven't been to it in awhile though- I have bad memories in that apartment and this last time I was in New York I spent so much to stay in a hotel because I didn't want to go into the apartment." I don't choose to elaborate. I actually think I'm going to cut that last part out when I'm editing...
I know deep down that my loneliness won't be cured if I move from LA or to New York or anywhere in the world because I lost my home and I won't ever get that back. I'm just seeking a distraction to fill the void.
I decide to start talking about something else.
"On the topic of London and LA, some of you ask me what the different things I've experienced from moving and I could honestly talk about this forever. Firstly though, moving to London from Barbados wasn't that much of a shock because we use all the same units and shit is pretty similar - to me at least - and the only major difference was the weather. But moving from London to LA was a different story.
"First of all, everything in America is on the wrong side. Why am I driving on the right side of the road? It throws me off. Temperature is obviously Fahrenheit and not Celsius so I always end up doing math when someone tells me how warm it is. My least favourite thing ever about living here is the measurement system. I don't care how long I've been living here, I still don't know what a fucking ounce is. Or a yard, or a gallon, or a pint. Whoever decided America had to be different and not use the metric system is fucking annoying."
I make a turn and the building I'm looking forward to driving up to comes into sight.
"Before I go to my friend's house I'm gonna get coffee. When am I not drinking coffee? A lot of you have also voiced a concern for my addiction to caffeine and I honestly don't know what to say about it. I know it's bad but I physically cannot stop. Another thing, I think that- don't hate me," I quickly add and put all my focus onto the camera when I bring my car to a halt in the drive thru line. "Dunkin is better than Starbucks."
